Life is bound to throw you upsetting or challenging situations every once in a while. Even though addressing these challenges head-on can help you grow as a person, you may not always recognize that in the moment. If you try to keep your head down and pretend like the negative stuff will just go away, you may have an ineffective coping strategy.

Avoidance can be a coping mechanism for people who are experiencing distressing thoughts and emotions. It can often be used as an unhelpful way to seek temporary relief from the negativity or as a response to an overwhelming sense of fear.

Avoidance can look a bit different for everyone. Examples of avoidance may include:

• Denying or minimizing issues
• Going out of your way to avoid potentially upsetting people, places, or conversations
• Continuously trying to distract yourself from the situation
• Substance misuse

It’s possible that avoidance is your go-to coping mechanism, possibly contributing to relationship issues, long-term unresolved issues, and a lack of resilience. Avoidance is common in several mental health conditions, including major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Here are four signs that avoidance is a significant coping strategy for you:

• You try to avoid difficult conversations

No one likes conflict, especially with someone close to you, such as a friend, family member, or significant other. It’s possible that your brain makes you think that avoiding conversations with that person will make the conflict just go away. If you use avoidance as a coping mechanism, you’re likely to brush off the person when they try to initiate conversation or push it off to another time. However, this often leads to worsening the situation and straining the relationship.

When you’re feeling anxious about a conflict, think about how important the person is to you. The conversation can bring long-term positive outcomes that outweigh the negative emotions it may temporarily cause.

• You do an activity excessively to try and “escape” your anxious thoughts

Distraction and avoidance tend to go hand in hand. While it’s OK to occasionally try to distract yourself from negative thoughts, overdoing those distractions can further push away the growth and relief that can come from addressing an issue head-on.

If you find yourself engaging in an activity for hours at a time that’s meant to help you “escape” reality, then you likely use avoidance as a coping strategy during anxious times. A few examples of escapism include:

• Video games
• Binge-watching television
• Social media

Escapism can be a way to alleviate stress for a while. However, excessive escapism may do more harm than good. Try to limit your time on activities that prevent you from addressing real-world problems by setting a timer or allotting specific times in your schedule for them.

• You pack your schedule during distressing times

Being productive can help you feel accomplished and proud of your capabilities. However, overworking or trying to stay busy at all times can be a type of avoidance. While you may want to keep your mind focused on other tasks instead of the negative thoughts you’re having, having extensive to-do lists and constant obligations can prevent personal growth and worsen anxiety in the long run.

Be sure to balance relaxation and productivity as best as you can so that you’re able to take care of all aspects of your life. You don’t want to keep your head so preoccupied with a chaotic schedule that the negativity hits you like a tidal wave later on.

• You downplay the severity or significance of your anxiety or difficult situations

There may be small challenges throughout your day-to-day life that bring moderate, temporary stress, like being late to a meeting due to traffic or forgetting to pay a bill on time. But when it feels like everything is going wrong or you’re trying to navigate a severely distressing situation, denying the true nature of your negative thoughts and feelings can be a type of avoidance.

Even though it’s not always easy to acknowledge the full scale of negative emotions or circumstances, downplaying your distress can make it harder to work through them.

If you find yourself regularly using avoidance as a coping mechanism when you’re feeling overwhelmed, upset, or worried, it may be time to seek other strategies with the guidance of a licensed clinical therapist. If you need further support for persistent or worsening mental health symptoms, Lightfully offers multiple levels of care that can help:

• Residential Treatment
• Partial Hospitalization Program
• Intensive Outpatient Program
• Virtual Services (vPHP/vIOP)

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step, reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of you.