If you have a friend or a loved one with anxiety, you’ve probably seen how it can affect a person’s mindset and their behavior. Even if it’s obvious to you that they’re safe, their anxiety still feels very real to them. Trying to get them to relax may not help — and could unintentionally make them feel less understood or supported. If you can empathize and try to see things from their point of view, this can help you maintain their trust and support them in ways that feel helpful to them.
In this article, we’ll describe six real-life experiences that show what it’s like to feel anxious.
6 experiences that illustrate what anxiety feels like
Anxiety is a common yet often misunderstood experience that affects millions of people. Most people who have anxiety understand on some level that their fears aren’t realistic or likely.
In an anxiety disorder, the worry is excessive or out of proportion to the threat. It’s more about the “what if” than what is. Rationalizing anxious thoughts away or minimizing them may reinforce feelings of shame and inadequacy. This is because rationalizing away or minimizing anxious thoughts can make a person feel understood or dismissed rather than supported.
It may seem counterintuitive, but normalizing anxiety can reduce its urgency. It can help the person access their resilience, and it gives them room to focus on strategies that help them find their calm.
See if you can relate to any of these situations that show what anxiety feels like:
Like being in a job interview that never ends
Most people have felt nervous — before a performance, a test, or trying to make a good impression. Now imagine that a hiring manager is grilling you and asking questions you didn’t think to prepare for.
You might have thoughts racing through your mind, like “Why are they asking that?” “Did I just mess up my chances?” or “I wonder if I have something stuck in my teeth.” Those who have social anxiety are particularly concerned with being judged or laughed at, but anyone with general anxiety may feel this way from time to time.
Like your phone battery is always at 2%
Hypervigilance means constantly being on the lookout or bracing for impact. You don’t know when or if something bad might happen, but you can’t shake the feeling it’s going to. What’s going to happen when your battery fully runs out? Will you miss an important call? Will you be able to find your way home? It’s exhausting, and this is why people with anxiety feel tired a lot of the time.
Like being followed by someone you can’t see
Have you ever had the feeling that someone’s watching you or just waiting to sneak up on you? That sense of impending doom is what anxiety feels like for many people. It can make you go out of your way to be more cautious, and excessive worrying can make it hard to make any decisions at all.
Like having too many browser tabs open in your brain
People who have anxiety may feel like they need to have their eyes on everything, all the time. As if the moment they trust that things will work out and start to relax, that’s when something’s going to go wrong. Worrying about several different things at the same time is usually counterproductive. It can seriously impact your work performance and your ability to take care of daily responsibilities.
Like your body’s smoke alarm won’t turn off
Our brain activity and physiological responses to real threats are very similar to what happens when we’re experiencing anxiety. You feel like there’s an emergency — but can’t pinpoint the danger. Common physical symptoms of anxiety include a racing heart, sweating, nausea, chills, dizziness, chest pain and indigestion.
Like being closed into a tight space or exposed and vulnerable
Anxiety can be paralyzing, or it can make you feel powerless and stranded. If you’ve ever had a dream that you found yourself naked at school or at work, this is what anxiety can feel like. On the outside, it might look like the person is unmotivated or uninterested when they’re really feeling overwhelmed, which can lead to misunderstandings in relationships or at work.
How to support loved ones with anxiety
Anxiety isn’t just worry; it’s like your internal alarm system is stuck on high alert, scanning for threats that may not even exist. Anxiety can look different from person to person. If you notice that a friend or a loved one is hesitant, seems nervous, or is having physical anxiety symptoms, in the moment, you might try to normalize what they’re feeling and remind them that they have options.
Ask what they need or how you can support them. You can also make time to connect with them one-on-one and let them know what you’re noticing without judgment. Ask if they want to share what’s happening from their point of view. Let them know what they’re feeling is valid — and ask how you can be there for them.
Empathizing with your loved ones and creating plans for managing anxiety together are two ways you can be proactive about normalizing mental health conversations. If you or someone you love is struggling with anxiety, it may be helpful to talk with a licensed clinical therapist. They can help you gain some insight into what you’re experiencing and develop skills for managing your symptoms.
At Lightfully, we provide primary mental health treatment with a focus on the whole person. This means we help you manage your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. If you’re ever seeking a higher level of mental health care, we can help. Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step, reach out — and we’ll take the next steps together.
