College is a time when you’ll experience a lot of firsts: your first extended time away from home, your first college exams, and your first taste of adult responsibilities and independence. When you’re faced with challenges like you’ve never seen before, it’s easy to start second-guessing yourself. What if you’re not fully prepared? What if it’s too overwhelming? What if you fail?

Though it might seem daunting right now, these rites of passage will help you grow. Your self-worth shouldn’t be entirely attached to your accomplishments — you have value even when you’re not being productive. Developing self-confidence, however, is necessary for good mental health. Your college experiences are stepping stones that can teach you a lot about life and about yourself. Whether you succeed the first time or not, there is something to be learned. In many cases, you’ll find opportunities to improve and try again. 

Use the following strategies to build self-confidence while you’re in college or at any time of your life:

• Build mastery with something you enjoy doing — Choose a new project that helps you develop a skill, talent or ability. Keep in mind that you won’t become an expert overnight. However, if you keep at it, you’ll have something to show for your effort. It could be a hobby like painting, learning a new language or playing an instrument.
• Embrace beginner’s mind — Beginner’s mind is when you accept that you don’t know everything about a topic or an activity and accept that your performance won’t be perfect. This mindset is a great way to develop some self-compassion. It allows you to be proud of your achievements and keep improving by learning from your mistakes.
• Join a club or an organization — Meeting new people can be a challenge, but making new friends is bound to give you a confidence boost. This will also give you opportunities to work on your social skills.
• Choose positive thoughts — This one takes some preparation. Take time to reflect or journal about some of the negative thoughts you have about yourself. What do you tell yourself when you mess up or you feel embarrassed? Write down some more positive things you could tell yourself instead or reverse those statements. Now you have some affirmations you can practice daily and inspiration for positive self-talk.
• Set short- and long-term goals — Having goals or commitments can remind you that you have great things in progress and your work will pay off. Write down some things you’d like to do this semester, this year, before graduation and beyond. Keep your goals where you can see them.
• Work on your boundaries — People-pleasing and putting your needs last are patterns that undermine your relationship with yourself. What do you need every day and every week to feel your best? Set some boundaries to protect those things. Remember that boundaries also protect your relationships in the end because they ensure that spending time with your friends and loved ones won’t wear you out.
• Talk with a licensed therapist — When a person’s self-confidence is low, they often have automatic thoughts that keep them stuck in this mindset. A licensed clinical therapist can help you start to recognize those negative thoughts and understand them. Then they can help you find ways to think more positive thoughts and improve your self-image.

Building self-confidence isn’t something that happens quickly, and it’s not easy. If it were, everyone would do it. The key is to accumulate small wins and hold on to your intention. Repeat your positive affirmations often and choose to speak to yourself in positive ways. You might let your friends in on what you’re doing and ask them to help reinforce these new ideas. Maybe you can help lift them up, too.

While you’re working on your self-confidence, you might come up against some thoughts and feelings that you can’t navigate on your own. Recognizing that you need help is a good thing. Seeing an outpatient therapist is a great first step. If your challenges with self-confidence come along with anxiety or depression symptoms and you need support that’s a bit more comprehensive, you may be a good fit for treatment at Lightfully.

We offer higher levels of mental health treatment that focus on the whole person, not just their symptoms. Our programs are flexible, so we can work around your school schedule. Contact us or reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team for an assessment.