Our closest relationships with others have a profound impact on our lives. They provide both companionship and emotional support, and they can inform who we are as individuals. When romantic partners have a falling-out, both may need time to recover their mental health. If you’re going through a tough time and looking for a fresh start, there is hope that you can work through these feelings and find some relief. 

If the circumstances of your breakup are making it particularly painful, know that you don’t have to bear it alone. Now is a good time to reconnect with old friends and supportive loved ones. A psychotherapist can be another great ally during this time. You don’t need a mental health condition to see one. If your emotions are affecting your ability to care for yourself and function, more comprehensive treatment options are available.

If you’re overwhelmed and feeling unsafe, call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 or check out other SAMHSA crisis resources.

In this blog post, we’ll share nine tips that may help you get through a bad breakup.

9 tips for those wanting to get over a bad breakup

The first thing to recognize is that people respond to these situations in different ways, and your emotions are valid. Whether you’re angry, livid, sad or numb, you have a right to feel what you’re feeling. And your feelings will likely change as time goes on. What’s not helpful is trying to impose your feelings on someone else. Understanding your feelings and finding healthy ways to manage them is up to you, but you can find people who are willing to help. Seeking support from people who are there for you is a necessary part of the healing process.

How do you cope when you’re hurting and you can’t get your mind off your ex? Try these nine tips to help you get over a bad breakup:

• Feel your emotions — Maybe your emotions are overwhelming, or maybe you’re having trouble feeling anything at all. Each person has a unique relationship with their emotions. Try to do some activities that make it feel safe to approach your feelings and express them in ways that feel productive. If you need to go for a run, listen to music, do some painting, take a kickboxing class or cry it out to a tragic movie, do that for yourself.
• Practice acceptance and mindfulness — Try to see the truth of what has happened from an objective point of view and separate the facts from your feelings. One is no less valid than the other. This just helps you accept things for what they are. You may not be able to change the facts, but there are ways to manage feelings.
• Limit contact with your ex — Once a breakup is final, there’s not much you can say that will change things or improve the situation. It’s healthy to take some time to cool off. Wait at least six months or a year and see if you still want to try reconnecting. However, recovery is highly individual and the time frame can vary based on your needs.
• Take care of yourself — After a tough breakup, self-care is a high priority for your all-around well-being. The basics of eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep and getting some movement every day may seem like a chore right now. Feeling upset when you’re showered and well rested isn’t quite as bad as feeling upset when you’re not taking care of yourself.
• Reach out to your support system — There’s a good chance you have some friends who have dealt with their own tough breakups. If not, it’s still a good idea to share what you’re going through with someone else. Talking through your feelings can help you feel like a weight’s been lifted, and you may stumble across some helpful insights.
• Remove reminders — Gather any pictures, gifts or reminders of your ex that may be triggering and put them away. You don’t have to throw them out if you don’t want to. Make yourself an “ex box” and stow it away so you can decide what to do with it later.
• Reflect on the relationship — With a bit of distance between yourself and the relationship, you can see it from a different perspective. Think about what you liked most about it and ask yourself if you had any wants or needs that went unfulfilled. Consider what you’ve learned about yourself and what you might do differently in the future. 
• Don’t rush back into dating — Jumping into a new relationship while your feelings are still raw may create more problems. Take the time to fully heal and feel like yourself again so that when the time comes, you can fully focus on building something new.
• Consider therapy — If you’re struggling to cope, seeking guidance from a psychotherapist can be helpful. Try to determine what mental health means to you and what it might look like. 

The first days and weeks after a tough breakup are especially hard. Don’t push yourself to do a bunch of personal growth if you’re not feeling it right now. Focus on making sure your basic needs are met and expressing your feelings safely. Take care of yourself and reach out to a close friend or two for support. If you have a busy schedule, see if you can take some time off or put some things on hold until you’re feeling better. 

Are you struggling to cope with a bad breakup? If the steps we’ve outlined here seem like too much and you feel like you’re barely hanging on, we can help. At Lightfully, we provide whole-person-centered treatment to help you look forward and see what you need to create the future you want. We’ll help you learn how to manage your thoughts, feelings, behaviors and emotions so you can achieve and maintain mental wellness.

Contact us with questions or reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team today. Let’s take the next steps together.