Anger is a human emotion, just like happiness, sadness or fear. It’s a signal that something isn’t right. It can feel like a fire in your belly that can help you identify problems. But sometimes, that fire can feel like it’s burning way too hot, threatening to erupt in ways that feel uncontrollable.

If you’ve ever felt anger bubbling up inside you, threatening to take over, you’re not alone. There are many reasons why anger can feel uncontrollable, and understanding them can be the first step to help you feel more in charge. 

What can make the fiery anger start?

You can think of your anger like a volcano. Deep down, you have a molten pool of emotions waiting to erupt. But what can actually trigger the eruption? These can be some common triggers:

• Feeling frustrated — Sometimes, things just don’t go your way. Maybe you put in a lot of effort at work but didn’t get the recognition you deserve. You practiced for hours for a presentation but froze and forgot everything in the moment. This frustration can build up and turn into anger. 
• Feeling unfairly treated — Have you ever dealt with a rude colleague or a boss who plays favorites? Being treated unfairly can be a major anger trigger. 
• Feeling hurt or threatened — If someone disrespects you, bullies you or makes you feel unsafe, it can be natural to feel angry. Anger can be a way of protecting yourself.
• Feeling overwhelmed — Sometimes, life can throw a lot your way all at once. Work deadlines, family issues, financial stress — it can all add up and make you feel stressed and overloaded. This stress can easily turn into uncontrollable anger. 

Sometimes, uncontrollable anger can be like smoke coming from a hidden fire. It may seem like you’re angry about something small, but really, the anger is coming from somewhere deeper. Here are some things that can be making you angry without you even realizing it:

• Feeling sad or scared — Believe it or not, anger can sometimes be a mask for other emotions you’re experiencing. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, lonely or scared, you may not even realize it, and your feelings may come out as uncontrollable anger instead. 
• Feeling helpless — If you feel like you have no control over a situation, it can be really frustrating and lead to uncontrollable anger. 
• Experiencing underlying issues — Sometimes, uncontrollable anger can be a symptom of something bigger going on, like anxiety, depression or even past experiences. 

Taking charge of your uncontrollable anger

What can you do if you feel like your anger is about to erupt in an uncontrollable way? Here are some tools to help you manage your inner volcano:

• Identify your triggers — The first step to managing your uncontrollable anger is to figure out what triggers your anger. Once you know what your triggers are, you can start to avoid them or develop strategies that can help you deal with them in a calmer manner. 
• Take a time out — When you start to feel your anger rising, take a break! Excuse yourself from the situation, take some deep breaths, count to 10 or splash some cool water on your face. Giving yourself a moment to cool down can help you avoid saying or doing something you’ll regret later. 
• Express yourself assertively — Once you’ve calmed down, try to talk about what’s making you angry in a clear and firm way. Focus on “I” statements to explain how you’re feeling to help the other person understand your perspective without escalating the situation. For example, you could say, “I feel frustrated because …”
• Turn to relaxation techniques — There are a lot of ways you can relax and de-stress. These can help you manage your anger in the long run. You can try deep breathing exercises, yoga, meditation or listening to calming music. 
• Talk to someone you trust — Bottling up your anger can make it worse. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, therapist or counselor can help you understand your anger and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Therapy can be a powerful tool when you’re dealing with uncontrollable anger. 

Therapy as a path to calmer volcanoes

A therapist can help you understand the source of your anger and develop tools to manage it before it erupts. They can help you:

• Identify underlying issues — If your anger is linked to deeper emotions or past experiences, a therapist can help you explore those and develop healthy ways to deal with them. 
• Learn coping mechanisms — A therapist can help teach you specific techniques to help you manage your anger in the moment, like relaxation exercises, communication skills and healthy ways to express your frustration. 
• Develop emotional intelligence — Therapy can help you improve your emotional intelligence, which is your ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and respond to the emotions of others. This can be a game-changer when it comes to dealing with uncontrollable anger. By understanding your emotional triggers and how your anger affects those around you, you can start to choose healthier responses. For instance, a therapist can help you identify signs that your anger is building, like clenched fists or a rapid heartbeat, so you can intervene before it becomes uncontrollable. 

Lightfully Behavioral Health can help you take charge of your uncontrollable anger

At Lightfully, we understand that anger is a complex emotion that many people struggle with. Uncontrolled anger can be particularly isolating, but you’re definitely not alone. Our deeply compassionate experts take a whole-person-centered care approach to treatment. They can help you identify the root causes of your anger and learn to develop healthy coping mechanisms. We can help you learn to manage your anger and build a calmer, more fulfilling life with personalized support.

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step, contact us. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of you.