Losing someone you love is a painful experience. It’s natural to feel sad, angry or even confused after losing someone. However, for some people, grief can become overwhelming and last for a long time. This is known as complicated grief disorder. Complicated grief is when the intense pain of losing someone doesn’t go away over time. The grief interferes with a person’s daily life, making it hard for them to work, sleep or enjoy things like they used to. It’s different from regular grief because it’s long lasting and also affects a person’s ability to function. Complicated grief isn’t uncommon: Approximately 7% of people who experience grief are affected by complicated grief. 

However, there is hope. With the right treatment and support, you can reclaim your life from complicated grief. 

Symptoms of complicated grief disorder

The symptoms of complicated grief can vary from person to person, but many people experience:

• Intense longing and sorrow
• Difficulty accepting the loss
• Numbness or detachment
• Anger or bitterness
• Guilt or shame
• Problems with daily living
• Avoiding reminders of the past 

Causes of complicated grief: Who is at risk?

Many factors can contribute to the development of complicated grief. Some people are at a higher risk than others, including those who experience:

• Sudden and unexpected loss
• Multiple losses
• Lack of support after a loss
• Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions

Complicated grief disorder vs. depression

Complicated grief and depression are not the same. While they may share some symptoms, they are different conditions and it’s important to know the difference. Complicated grief is specifically focused on the loss of a loved one. Unique aspects that characterize complicated grief can include:

• Intense longing for the deceased — This longing can dominate a person’s thoughts and emotions, making it challenging to engage in daily activities. 
• Preoccupation with the deceased — People with complicated grief may have intrusive thoughts or a preoccupation with the deceased. This can manifest as constantly dwelling on memories or scenarios related to the deceased.
• Difficulty accepting the loss — The hallmark of complicated grief is the difficulty accepting the reality of the loss. The strong disbelief and difficulty acknowledging this loss can hinder their ability to move forward. 

Depression is a more general mood disorder. If you’re uncertain if you’re experiencing complicated grief or depression, it’s best if you talk to a mental health professional for a proper diagnosis and treatment plan. 

Complicated grief treatment options

Complicated grief disorder is a treatable condition that can respond well to a variety of treatment options, including:

• Psychotherapy — Psychotherapy can be the cornerstone of your complicated grief disorder treatment. Therapy provides you a safe space to explore your emotions, understand your grief and develop healthy coping skills. Your therapist will create a personalized treatment plan that may use components of evidence-based techniques such as:
• Complicated grief therapy (CGT) — CGT is a specialized therapy that focuses on addressing the specific symptoms of complicated grief. It can help you learn to accept the loss, reduce avoidance behaviors and rebuild your life. 
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) — CBT can help you learn how to identify and challenge negative thought patterns related to your grief. By challenging and changing these thoughts, you can work to improve your mood and behavior.
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) — EMDR is a therapeutic approach that can help you process traumatic memories, which can be beneficial for complicated grief.
• Support groups or group therapy — Sharing your experiences with others who are going through similar challenges can be very helpful. A support group can offer you a sense of community and understanding, reminding you that you’re not alone. 
• Medication — In some cases, medication may be prescribed to help manage depression and anxiety, which can accompany complicated grief. Antidepressants may be prescribed to help improve your mood and reduce your feelings of sadness and hopelessness. It’s essential to work with a mental health professional or health care provider to determine if medication is right for you. 

How to cope with complicated grief disorder

In addition to professional help, there are other things you can do to help cope with complicated grief:

• Talk about your feelings — Sharing your thoughts and emotions with others can be helpful.
• Take care of yourself — Make sure to eat healthy, get enough sleep and exercise regularly.
• Join a support group — Getting connected with others who are going through a similar experience can be comforting. 
• Create a memorial — This can be a creative and therapeutic way to honor the person who died and also help keep their memory alive. 
• Allow yourself to feel your emotions — It’s OK to feel angry, sad or confused. These emotions are a natural part of grief, and you shouldn’t feel bad for feeling them. 

Healing from complicated grief disorder takes time. Be patient with yourself and seek support from your loved ones, friends or professionals. With the right treatment and self-care, you can gradually rebuild your life and find hope and healing. 

Complications of untreated complicated grief disorder

Untreated complicated grief can lead to serious problems, such as:

• Relationship difficulties — It can be hard to maintain relationships when you’re struggling with complicated grief.
• Substance use — Some people may turn to alcohol or drugs in an attempt to cope with their pain. While this may provide temporary relief, turning to these to cope can cause even further complications and issues. 
• Physical health problems — Chronic stress from grief can cause your immune system to weaken, increasing your risk of developing physical health issues. 

It’s OK to ask for help if you’re struggling and believe it’s due to complicated grief. There are people who care about you and want to support you. 

Complicated grief is a challenging journey; Lightfully can help you navigate it

At Lightfully, we understand the depth of your pain. Our expert therapists specialize in treating complicated grief disorder and will work with you to develop a treatment plan tailored to your unique needs. By using a framework of evidence-based techniques, we focus on providing whole-person-centered care to help you improve your overall well-being. We aim to help you heal and find renewed hope. Recovery is possible, and we are here to support you every step of the way. 

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step, contact us. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of you.