Trauma, abuse and even garden-variety family dysfunction affect people on a biological and psychological level. Any situation that overwhelms your ability to cope can leave a scar that takes years or even a lifetime to heal from.
It takes a lot of self-awareness and discipline to recognize how your pain is affecting others and take full responsibility for your own mental health as well as the emotional impact you have on your loved ones.
It’s possible, and there’s hope that you can change the course of your life for the better. Those who make a commitment to undoing generational cycles of harm are known as “cycle-breakers.”
If you’re ready to take the next step toward healing, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ll share seven steps you can take to end generational cycles of harm.
7 steps to take toward ending generational cycles
It’s not just parenting and attachment styles or outright abuse that keep generational cycles going. Your traits, behaviors and beliefs can all contribute to perpetuating pain and trauma.
Researchers are just starting to understand the role of epigenetics in generational cycles. This is the study of changes in genetic expression because of stress and environmental factors. While some of this is still theoretical, these potential cause-and-effect relationships may hold the keys to healing trauma on an individual and a collective level.
Ending these cycles requires you to hold two opposing truths at the same time: Your pain isn’t your fault, but it’s your responsibility to heal. Your beliefs and behaviors may need to change, but you still deserve compassion and understanding.
The following are seven steps you can take to end generational cycles of trauma, abuse and dysfunction:
Increasing awareness and education
Developing awareness of your patterns and your family dynamics is a great place to start. This should be paired with education about what mental wellness and healthy relationships look like.
Calling out toxic behavior doesn’t do much good if you’re not working on skills for more nurturing connections. You can’t expect to make these changes overnight. Finding allies like a therapist or a friend who’s breaking their own generational cycles can help you stay grounded and accountable.
Exploring your family history and understanding the impact
Learning about your family history can reveal some insights into their mindset and behavior of your own. This isn’t possible for everyone. If your parents or grandparents are still around, see if they’re willing to tell you some stories about their childhood or previous generations.
Developing emotional literacy
Recognizing and regulating your emotions is an important component of mental wellness. It also gives you more capacity to build better relationships with others. Again, mindful self-awareness is a critical skill.
Observing body language and social cues and empathizing with others is the next step. Two-way communication is the final piece that helps you navigate conflict for more positive interactions.
Examining and changing core beliefs
Over time, traumatic experiences can turn into negative beliefs about yourself and others. You might struggle with a belief that you’ll never be good enough, or you might believe that deep down, most people are selfish.
It takes vulnerability and self-compassion to recognize these beliefs for what they are. They can be changed with some reframing and reinforcement. This can be hard to do on your own, but it’s a great goal to work on with a licensed clinical therapist.
Building new coping strategies
Unhealthy coping mechanisms like perfectionism, substance use and numbing activities only keep you from working through your problems.
Different behaviors can serve different functions for different people, and sometimes a little distraction can help get you out of an anxious or depressed mood.
Building coping skills that help you feel more present and connected, and ones that promote your overall health, can help you self-regulate without escaping or doing more harm.
Creating boundaries
People who grew up in dysfunctional households often have trouble setting and maintaining personal boundaries. Boundaries that are too loose or porous aren’t helpful, and boundaries that are too rigid can also be unhealthy.
Healthy boundaries should protect your peace of mind and your safety, which, by extension, will promote healthy relationships.
Reflect on what you need to feel your best and what tends to get in the way. Then you can decide how you’ll respond and what you can do to protect yourself when others overstep your boundaries.
Seeking professional support
Trauma has a way of hijacking your brain and body and keeping you trapped in your anguish. Having guidance from a licensed clinician can help you get through your most difficult moments and build a solid foundation for a brighter future.
Lightfully can help you break your generational cycles
Even if you’re not planning on having kids, breaking generational cycles helps you have better relationships and be a source of kindness and compassion for the lives you touch. The rewards that come from the healing work you do for yourself are well worth the effort.
At Lightfully, we take a trauma-informed and holistic approach to mental health care that puts your experience and your goals at the center of your treatment plan. Our Precision Care Model (PCM) takes the most effective aspects of evidence-based treatments to support four core life processes: your thoughts, feelings, behaviors and relationships.
Are you ready to start your trauma healing journey? We can help. Reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team today.
