Finding strategies that really help you manage your anger in moments when you’re seeing red is an important way to care for your mental health and the people you care about. Responding in a way that’s true to yourself and respectful of the people around you takes some reflection, practice and planning. This includes reflecting on your triggers and other feelings that may be underneath your anger. Techniques like stomping, shaking and mindfulness exercises can help you deal with the physical feelings of anger in the moment. You’ll also need some effective communication strategies to navigate the social aspect of these situations and resolve conflicts.

It may take some trial and error to see what anger management techniques work best for you. In this article, we’ll share eight techniques our therapists recommend.

8 therapist-recommended techniques to help manage anger 

Some of these anger management techniques will help you defuse your feelings in the moment. Others will help you care for yourself in a more proactive way so you can keep outbursts to a minimum. When you’re facing a conflict with others, addressing things right away isn’t always the most productive approach. That doesn’t mean you should avoid them altogether. Generally, it’s a good idea to work through your feelings first and then talk things out. Timing is an important component of anger management that you can improve upon with practice. 

Try using these eight techniques to manage your anger:

• Recognizing and understanding anger triggers — Understanding your triggers can help you keep your anger from getting out of control or find healthy ways to manage your emotions. Is there a certain time of day, a situation, or a person who seems to provoke your anger the most? It may be helpful to identify any factors that make you more vulnerable to angry outbursts as well, such as feeling tired or stressed out. You might be quicker to anger if you have physical or emotional needs that aren’t being met.
• Emotion identification beneath anger responses — Anger can sometimes be a secondary emotion, which means it’s something you feel in response to another emotion, like sadness or pain. When you dig a bit deeper, you may find that there are other feelings to resolve. The first steps are acknowledging them and feeling them.
• Physiological self-regulation through breathing and grounding — Anger can cause intense feelings in your body. If you don’t manage them intentionally, they’re likely to come up again. Mindfulness techniques can help you keep yourself grounded and regulate physical feelings of anger. Breath and body awareness meditations are mindfulness practices that you can do almost anywhere. Using these techniques often is like building up your “mindfulness muscles.” You get better at them with practice, so they become more effective.
• Cognitive reframing of anger-triggering interpretations — When you’re feeling angry, your thoughts may be more biased toward negativity. For instance, you may think, “I never do anything right” or “There’s no use trying anymore; I might as well quit.” Keep an eye out for black-and-white thinking or absolutes such as “always” or “never.” Try reflecting on your angry thought processes when you’re in a better mood and see if you can think of a more balanced way to frame things. You might remind yourself, “This is just one moment, and it will pass.” A licensed counselor or therapist can help you with this process.
• Strategic timeouts — A brief timeout can keep you from saying or doing something you’ll regret later. It can also give you a chance to work through your anger. Sometimes, changing your environment can help you change your frame of mind. See if you can leave the room for a few minutes to do some deep breathing or a mindfulness exercise.
• Body-based anger release techniques — Moving your body can help you reduce anger, stress and tension. Shaking and stomping, for example, are both great ways to process anger quickly. Getting outside for a quick walk is another option. These techniques are helpful in the moment, and getting regular exercise can help you keep your stress level down.
• Progressive communication approaches for conflict — One of the most common ways that anger becomes toxic is when you say things you don’t really mean. You might brainstorm some phrases you can use to let people know you need some time to cool off. Then you can come back and address the situation when you’re not feeling angry. Use “I” statements to tell them what you were thinking and feeling. See if there’s a way you can avoid the same situation in the future or if there might be a more constructive way to approach it.
• Problem-solving — Anger is often a justified response to a real problem. Many problems can be solved, but not all of them. When you’ve dealt with your feelings, you can reflect on more practical ways to deal with the situation at hand. If there isn’t, the next things to consider are changing your perspective or changing the way you manage your emotions.

Building your personalized anger management plan 

Like other emotions, anger in itself isn’t good or bad. It’s your response to it that makes all the difference. Anger does sometimes serve a purpose — it alerts us to something that’s wrong and drives us to take action. However, it’s not always informed by logic or our personal values. Managing your anger proactively requires some self-awareness and control. Your ongoing self-care practices, such as meditation, mindful reflection, exercise and seeing a therapist, can help you develop these skills. Over time, as you understand your anger and find techniques that help, you can start to flesh out your personalized anger management plan.

At Lightfully, anger management techniques are just one tool we use to provide holistic mental health treatment for the whole person. Our licensed clinicians help each client learn to manage their thoughts, feelings, behaviors and relationships. Each person comes out of treatment with a proactive self-care plan that includes solutions for their unique needs and symptoms, including anger management.

Are you ready to try a new approach to caring for your mental health and managing your anger? Contact us or reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team today.