Breakups are difficult, no matter your age. You might assume that most relationships as a teenager are just “young puppy love.” However, it’s important not to just brush off your teen’s feelings when a relationship ends. They can still be feeling angry and heartbroken. In fact, they may even be showing signs of a mental health condition.

Your teen may say things like, “I’m depressed” when they’re dealing with the fallout of a breakup. It’s important to note when they’re showing symptoms of major depressive disorder (MDD). By learning about how the emotions of a teen going through a breakup can be the same as a teen living with depression, you can identify if they need further mental health care.

Read on to learn about how a breakup can be connected to depression symptoms in teens. We’ll also discuss what to do if the symptoms are persistent or worsening.

Why teens going through a breakup may be showing symptoms of depression

More than half of teenagers between the ages of 12 and17 are regularly dating. Approximately one-third have a steady partner. However, many don’t last. The heartache following the end of a teenage relationship can make them feel like it’s the end of the world. 

As a parent, it’s important to make sure that you listen to them as they share their emotions, validate their feelings, and help them move forward with time and patience. In addition, you should also take note of potential symptoms of depression. While the negative thoughts and feelings may fade with time for some teens, others may have significant mental health challenges after a relationship ends.

Here are symptoms of depression that may develop in a teen following a breakup:

• Overwhelming sadness — The most common symptom of major depressive disorder is all-encompassing sadness. Ending a significant caring relationship can make a person feel overwhelmed by sadness for an extended period of time. However, the severity of the sadness may depend on how the relationship ended. For example, an unexpected breakup due to infidelity will likely be more upsetting to your teen than your teen breaking up with their partner after debating it for a while due to differing personalities.
• Feelings of hopelessness — If your teen has been in a relationship for a long time, a breakup can make them feel like the happy future that they’ve been picturing is no longer possible. They can feel hopeless about finding their “happily ever after” because they can’t imagine being with someone besides their now ex-partner. If their partner didn’t treat them well, they may become pessimistic about future relationships due to fear of repeatedly finding incompatible matches. 

• Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy — While every teenager is different, it’s likely that they have something that they enjoy in their free time. Perhaps they have a hobby, like drawing, or they play a sport. Sometimes, they spend every second possible hanging out with friends. Following a breakup, your teen may develop anhedonia, which means the inability to find pleasure or joy. They may feel like those activities aren’t the same without their partner. They may also attach it to memories with that person.
• Suicidality — It’s not uncommon for teens to make jokes or offhanded comments like, “I’m just going to kill myself.” However, if they invested an ample amount of time and energy into a relationship that ended, it can feel like they have nothing left to live for, even though that’s not true. If your teen starts showing signs of suicidal ideation, such as talking about death or engaging in risky behavior, then it’s time to find them mental health care. Call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 if your teen is at risk to themselves.

While these symptoms can be triggered by breakups, for a diagnosis of MDD, these symptoms must persist most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks, and cause significant impairment in daily functioning.

Lightfully Teen can help your teen get through a breakup if they are showing signs of depression

There’s no denying that breakups are hard. It can take time for your teen to work through the negative emotions, learn to reestablish their sense of self without a partner and find hope for successful future relationships. However, if they are struggling to manage depressive symptoms, or the symptoms aren’t improving with time, they would benefit from mental health treatment.

Therapy is one of the best courses of action for teens struggling after a breakup. Talking to a psychotherapist can help them work through their emotions and understand the deeper issues that may have contributed to the breakup. They’ll also learn how to work toward happy, healthy relationships. They can also learn strategies that can reduce their depressive symptoms, including emotional regulation and coping mechanisms.

If your teen requires more intensive mental health support for their depression beyond regular outpatient therapy sessions, our three Lightfully Teen levels of care can help: Residential Treatment, Partial Hospitalization Program and Intensive Outpatient Program.

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step to help your teen after a breakup, reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of them.