Grief is a complex process that we all experience at one time or another in our lives. It’s always difficult and never truly gets easier with age. You just learn how to navigate through the grieving process. However, for teens who are still learning how to regulate complex emotions, grieving can cause severe mental, emotional and spiritual distress that can impact them for years into the future. The loss of a parent, in particular, is often one of the most difficult experiences to go through for both your teen and yourself, as you’ve lost a co-parent or partner.

The unfortunate truth is that many people lose a parent during adolescence. Approximately 4% of children in the U.S. have lost a parent before they turned 18. For many people who have experienced the loss of a parent, it can feel like the world has stopped and may never start again. But life can’t stop during hard times. Although it’s important that they have time to adjust to the changes, teens need to learn how to continue on with their life while still being able to grieve the loss of a parent.

Even though you’re on your own grieving journey after you’ve lost a co-parent or partner, you can still help your teen carry on with life after the loss of a parent while going through the grieving process.

How teens can carry on during the grieving process

Every teen will grieve differently. While some may try to avoid confronting their feelings and push through their regular activities, others may develop a mental health condition, such as depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. They may also show symptoms of complicated grief, which is a mood disorder that’s characterized as prolonged and intense grief that goes beyond what is deemed as the length of typical grief.

When your teen has lost a parent, balance is essential. They still deserve the space and time to properly grieve while continuing to work toward a fulfilling future. Here are a few ways that teens can navigate life while grieving the loss of a parent:

• Practice self-compassion — In times when they are overcome with emotion or memories of the deceased parent, your teen needs to be kind to themselves. Encourage them to take a step back from what they’re doing for a moment to acknowledge their emotions, take a breath and refocus. When your teen convinces themselves that they need to “power through” moments of grief, their negative thoughts and emotions can worsen.
• Set goals — When your teen loses a parent, they may need to take on new responsibilities at home or possibly even move to a new place. When there are many new changes, they may have a difficult time picturing a fulfilling future without one of their parents. It can be helpful to sit with them to set attainable yet challenging short- and long-term goals. Examples include graduating with a 3.5 GPA, picking up a new hobby or earning an internship. It gives them something to strive for while acknowledging their new circumstances. 
• Find a support group — As we mentioned, there are many children who experience the loss of a parent. While that fact is unfortunate, it also means that many other adolescents can relate to how your teen is feeling. Find a support group for grieving teens that can provide them with a safe space to discuss their feelings, share their daily challenges and learn healthy coping mechanisms for their grief. The other group members can give them a support system who can comfort them during hard times.

• Seek therapy — Losing a parent can make your teen feel a variety of emotions, from overwhelming sadness and anger to guilt and regret about previous issues they may have had with them. Talking to a psychotherapist can help them work through their complicated feelings, gain a better understanding of how the death has affected their mental health and work through the grieving process. They can learn how to give their grieving the time and patience it deserves while continuing to adapt to their new reality.

Lightfully Teen can help your teen navigate the loss of a parent

Losing a parent will have an impact on your teen for the rest of their lives. But with the right steps, they can learn how to manage that impact to the best of their ability. They can still work toward being the best person they can be while never forgetting who they lost. That may require mental health care support, and that’s OK.

If your teen is showing signs of major depressive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder or complicated grief, talk to their doctor about a potential diagnosis. You can also connect them with a support group or outpatient therapist.

If your teen requires more intensive mental health care following the loss of a parent, Lightfully Teen can help them through the grief process with three levels of care: Residential Treatment, Partial Hospitalization Program and Intensive Outpatient Program.

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step to help your teen after the loss of a parent, reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of them.