There are so many things that can happen throughout your day that bring a different emotion. You may feel excited when you buy tickets to see your favorite band, disappointed if you don’t get a good grade on your homework and angry if your parents don’t allow you to go to a party. 

While it’s natural and expected to feel a range of emotions on a day-to-day basis, it’s also important to know how to manage “big” feelings, or the feelings that are intense and feel like they’re taking over your entire body.

Emotional regulation refers to your ability to manage your feelings. This means:

• How intensely you experience emotions
• How you reduce the impact of negative emotions
• How you express your emotions to others

Emotional regulation isn’t an easy skill to develop. It takes a while to gain an understanding of how you perceive emotions and how much you let them affect your overall well-being. But if you’re trying to learn how to handle big feelings, here are a few emotional regulation tips that you can keep in mind:

• Try to reframe negative thoughts

When you’re having trouble managing negative or conflicting emotions, you’re likely having thoughts of distress, hopelessness and frustration. Even though you can’t control negative thoughts that pop up into your head, you can control how they impact your overall well-being by adjusting your thought process.

Reframing negative thoughts means trying to find a more useful or positive way of looking at it. This can mean anything from trying to find the silver lining in a situation to accepting things that are out of your control. Through positive thinking and affirmations, you may be able to reduce negative emotions and feel optimistic about what comes next.

• Prioritize what brings you positive emotions

When you’re trying to find ways to regulate your emotions, think about what will make you happy. Those activities or habits can work as coping mechanisms.

A coping mechanism is something that helps you get through negative emotions or difficult life situations. They’re meant to bring you positive emotions and help you maintain your mental health when you’re facing challenges. A few examples include:

• Creative hobbies, such as drawing or dancing
• Exercising
• Spending time with friends and family

• Pinpoint your stressors

Trying to regulate your emotions means taking note of the things that bring negative feelings. It’s important to determine what situations bring up strong feelings so that you can be more emotionally prepared to handle them when they occur.

Stressors can refer to situations, environments or circumstances that cause strong emotional responses, particularly anxiety, sadness or anger. Examples include:

• Sounds or sights that bring back traumatic memories
• Criticism about sensitive topics
• Being left out of a social activity

• Use mindfulness exercises when you feel overwhelmed by emotions

Mindfulness refers to the practice of focusing on the present moment without judgment. When you’re experiencing overwhelming emotions, mindfulness allows you to take a moment to slow down your mind as a way to observe your thoughts and emotions without letting them overwhelm you.

There are a variety of mindfulness techniques worth testing out, including: 

• Mindful breathing
• Body scan meditation
• Visualization

• Stand firm on your boundaries

A big part of growing up is figuring out what’s best for you, even if other people don’t agree or understand. A boundary refers to a limit that protects your emotional, mental and physical health. By setting and enforcing boundaries with others, you can improve emotional regulation by taking control of a potentially distressing situation and reducing the negative impact that can come from it.

Boundaries to consider setting include:

• Saying no to social invites that will bring stress or sadness
• Protecting your privacy, such as keeping a journal
• Shutting down conversations that make you uncomfortable

Lightfully can help teens learn emotional regulation strategies

Emotional regulation is a skill that takes time and effort, but can help significantly reduce the negative effects of everyday situations. It can also help you to manage the symptoms of mental health conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and bipolar disorder when combined with other treatments, such as medication and psychotherapy.

A therapist can help you develop effective emotional regulation tips. But if you need a bit more support to improve your mental health, our three levels of care may help:

• Residential Treatment
• Partial Hospitalization Program 
• Intensive Outpatient Program

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step, reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of you.