In a perfect world, the holiday season would always arrive like the end of a Hallmark movie. We’d all be able to rest easy knowing that after a few hectic weeks of preparation, we’d be rewarded with days of joy and Christmas miracles. When your holiday season works out like this, it’s indeed something special. However, expecting real life to be as shiny and perfect as the movies will often lead to disappointment.

For those who celebrate, winter holidays bring our focus to our relationships with our families and loved ones — with an emphasis on big celebrations and gift giving. If you’re missing someone special, or if your relationships are less than fulfilling, the holidays have a way of shining a spotlight on these shortcomings. Many people are also sensitive to shorter days and colder weather. When you consider all of these factors, it’s easier to see why depression and anxiety are so prevalent around the end of the year.

If you’re already dreading certain dates or holiday occasions for any of these reasons or others, you’re not alone. In 2023, the Harris Poll found that about half of adults in the United States experienced moderate stress levels during the traditional United States holiday season between November and January; 41% said their stress increases during this time compared with other points in the year.

In this blog post, we’ll discuss the most common sources of holiday stress and outline seven strategies you can use to care for your mental health from now through the new year.

What mental health concerns should I be aware of during the holiday season?

The time-honored traditions that make holiday festivities meaningful for some can bring high expectations for what family gatherings “should” be like and pressure to do things a certain way. The people who work hard to make holiday parties special often don’t get to relax and enjoy them as much as they’d like. For many families, the annual holiday party is the only time everyone gets together all year. While people are socializing and making merry, conflicts and clashes of personalities may come to the surface.

In the Harris Poll survey, financial concerns were the biggest source of holiday stress, especially for households earning under $50K annually. The next most common stressors were finding the right gifts and missing family or loved ones. Traveling, winter weather, children staying home during school breaks and making end-of-the-year goals can all add to your stress level. If you’ve experienced traumas or losses around this time of year, certain days can be emotionally overwhelming.

How can I prepare myself for better mental health around the holidays?

The best way to stay as calm and grounded as possible during the holiday season is to plan your schedule and mentally prepare yourself ahead of time. Do some journaling about what you’re looking forward to and what you care about this holiday season. This way you can prioritize the things that really matter, and it will be easier to let go of other things that aren’t as important to you. Look at your calendar and determine which days are likely to be extra stressful so you can plan your self-care ahead of time.

Try the following strategies to care for your mental health during the holiday season:

Take care of your physical health — The sleep, nutrition and exercise you need to feel your best are some of the first things people forget when they’re busy. Determine what routines you should try to stick to for your well-being and stock up on any supplements or healthy foods you’ll want to have on hand.

Check in with your values and set realistic expectations — You may not have the time or the resources to do everything on your list while showing up for your family and friends. What will you need to feel fulfilled when your holiday season is finished? What experiences are most important, and what can you realistically expect to accomplish? Can you identify some things you already feel grateful for to serve as positive anchors?

Plan your self-care ahead of time — If you know that certain days will be tough for you, try to give yourself a break. When are you likely to feel most overwhelmed? Will you need some downtime between the rush to get everything ready and your social engagements? Will you need some recovery time before going back to work? Plan what you’ll do to de-stress.

Identify triggers and find some ways to cope — Are there specific topics or certain relatives who really get on your nerves? Review what triggers might affect your mood or bring out unwanted behaviors. Think through what you could do to distract yourself, self-soothe or otherwise manage your emotions so you’ll be prepared.

Set boundaries — You know yourself best. When does helping out or being exposed to certain behaviors start to wear you down? Remember that your boundaries ultimately help you protect your relationships with the people closest to you. Review where your limits are and what you can say or do to protect your peace.

Avoid substances — At holiday parties, there’s often plenty of alcohol or substances people might use to self-medicate. While this can make you feel better in the moment, it can lead to worse problems. Try to find some alternative ways to cope.

Ask for help when you need it — Finding an ally to help you through your toughest moments can make a big difference. Get in touch with a relative you trust ahead of time and create a plan in case you need to escape a triggering situation. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider finding a therapist so you can schedule regular check-ins.

There are years when the holidays are about making memories and years when those memories may seem bittersweet. If this is a more difficult year for you, practicing self-compassion can help you care for yourself without dwelling too much on what you’re missing or how things “should” be. Focusing on the supportive relationships you have or even making some new connections is a great way to stay grounded in the present.

At Lightfully, we have a lot of conversations about change in our support groups during the holidays. We talk about navigating the holiday season after significant life changes and losses, and we also talk about making positive changes for a brighter future. You’re welcome to join us for our free online support group, which currently meets on Friday afternoons.

It’s OK if you need some extra support to manage overwhelming feelings around the holiday season. You don’t have to do it alone. If you have questions about seeking mental health treatment, get in touch with our Admissions Concierge Team. We’re here to help.