Our experiences in life help to shape our future. However, the touches of our past aren’t always a good touch in the shaping of our future. While some challenges can make you stronger and more resilient, others, like trauma, can leave a lasting mark on your mental health. This impact can sometimes manifest in surprising ways, leading to a pattern of self-sabotage that can hold you back from reaching your full potential. 

Understanding trauma: The wound that doesn’t always heal

Trauma refers to an event that causes intense emotional, mental or physical distress. It can be something you experience directly, like an accident, assault or a natural disaster. Trauma can also be something you witness, like abuse suffered by a loved one. Even a seemingly minor event can be traumatic. It depends on your individual perception and circumstance. 

The aftermath of trauma can be complex. Some people can develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is characterized by:

• Flashbacks
• Nightmares
• Trigger avoidance
• Hypervigilance

Other people who go through trauma can experience:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Difficulty trusting others

These reactions are a natural way for your body and mind to cope with overwhelming experiences. However, when symptoms like the flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance and hypervigilance or conditions like depression and anxiety persist and interfere with your daily life, it’s important to seek professional help. 

Self-sabotage: Putting up walls against happiness

Self-sabotage describes a pattern of behavior that undermines your own success and happiness. It can be like you’re putting up walls to protect yourself from potentially getting hurt, even if it means sacrificing the potential of joy. The thing about self-sabotage is that you may not even realize you’re doing it. Some common signs of self-sabotage may include:

• Procrastination — Putting off important tasks and deadlines, even when you know the consequences
• Negative self-talk — Doubting your abilities and focusing on self-criticism, which can lead to feelings of worthlessness 
• Fear of failure — Avoiding opportunities because of the potential for things to go wrong, preventing you from reaching your full potential 
• Isolation — Pushing people away and isolating yourself or creating conflict in relationships, even with those who care about you

The unseen thread: How trauma can fuel self-sabotage

While self-sabotage can stem from a variety of factors, trauma can be a common root cause. The fear of getting hurt again can lead you to unconsciously create situations that reinforce a sense of protection, even if those situations can ultimately hinder your growth. 

For example, if you experienced a childhood accident that left you with a fear of heights, you may avoid activities like hiking or taking the stairs to higher floors. While this can keep you safe from your immediate fear of heights, it can also limit your experiences and enjoyment of life. 

Here’s a deeper look at how trauma can fuel your self-sabotage habits:

• Loss of control — Trauma can make you feel like you have no control over your life. Self-sabotage can be a way of regaining a sense of control, even if it’s only an illusion of control. 
• Fear of vulnerability — After experiencing trauma, it can be natural to want to avoid feeling vulnerable again. Self-sabotage can manifest as pushing people away or avoiding situations that may require emotional intimacy.
• Negative self-beliefs — Trauma can lead to the development of negative self-beliefs, like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve happiness.” These beliefs can fuel self-sabotaging behaviors that confirm those negative thoughts. 

The power of therapy: Breaking free from the cycle

If you’re struggling with self-sabotaging habits and suspect it could be linked to past trauma, therapy is a powerful tool for healing. Here’s how a therapist can help:

• Provide a safe space — Therapy offers a safe and confidential space for you to explore your past experiences and the emotions they can evoke. Your therapist will listen without judgment and offer you support as you process your trauma. 
• Identify the roots of self-sabotage — Through therapy, you can begin to understand the connection between your past experiences and your present self-sabotaging behaviors. This awareness is crucial to help you break the cycle of self-sabotage. 
• Help you develop healthy coping skills — Your therapist can equip you with tools to help you manage difficult emotions and cope with triggers in a healthy way. 
• Challenge negative beliefs — Through therapy, you can challenge negative self-beliefs that have formed as a result of your trauma. Once you challenge these beliefs, you can replace them with more positive and empowering thoughts. 
• Help you rebuild self-esteem — Trauma can take a toll on your self-esteem. Therapy can help you rebuild your sense of self-worth and confidence. 

Therapy is a personal journey, so finding the right therapist is crucial. Look for a qualified mental health professional who specializes in trauma and has experience working with clients who exhibit self-sabotaging behaviors. It’s also important to remember that medication can be a beneficial addition when combined with therapy to help manage PTSD. Medication can help manage symptoms like depression, anxiety and difficulty sleeping, which can also happen with PTSD. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Your therapist is there to help guide and support you on your path to healing.

Lightfully Behavioral Health can be your partner in overcoming the shadow of trauma and breaking the cycle of self-sabotage 

At Lightfully Behavioral Health, we understand the complexities of trauma and self-sabotage. Our licensed clinical experts are dedicated to providing you with the support and guidance you need to heal and thrive. We see each client as a unique individual, not just a diagnosis. We strive to provide whole-person-centered care through personalized treatment using a variety of evidence-based techniques across multiple levels of care. You have the strength and resilience to heal and move forward, and Lightfully can provide you with the safe space you need to build a brighter future.

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step, reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of you.