When mental health symptoms aren’t managed effectively, they can turn into unhealthy behaviors that create unstable and unsafe homes. That doesn’t mean that having a mental health condition makes you a “worse” parent. It might mean that you have to do the same amount of work or navigate the same problems with fewer internal resources. The things that seem to come easily to others may take more intentional effort for you. However, it is possible for parents with mental health conditions to stay mentally well and raise healthy children with well-rounded lives.

Talking about mental health challenges with other caregivers, loved ones and licensed clinicians can help you set realistic expectations and find the support you need to be the best parent you can be. In this blog post, we’ll share 10 things you may struggle with as a parent with a mental health condition.

How can parents with mental health conditions raise their kids to be mentally well?

It will take some humility to be open and honest about your family’s realities. Managing the expectations you have for yourself and building a trusting relationship with your children are foundational. You should also educate your children about your condition in age-appropriate ways. Most mental health conditions can be passed down through families, though there are often other environmental and psychological factors that play an influential role. Normalizing your experience will help your children feel less shame and know how to care for themselves if they should ever face similar challenges.

Understanding your needs and your strengths is critical, and it’s important to know when and how to reach out for help. Seek treatment for yourself and your children when necessary. You might also consider family therapy to help you learn how to support each other and navigate your roles as they change. Another thing you can do is increase protective factors. For instance, try to create a stable home environment, tell your children you love them often, and treat them with love and acceptance.

10 challenges that parents may face if they’re experiencing mental health issues of their own

This list of challenges isn’t meant to accuse anyone of being a bad parent or highlight their shortcomings. It should be read as a validation of these difficulties and a recognition that you’re not the only parent struggling with them. In the best case, it should spark conversations about what parents should honestly expect from themselves and what kinds of support they need to give their children the care and support they deserve.

Parents with mental health conditions may struggle with these 10 challenges:

• Sticking to a regular routine — Certain everyday routines are necessary, even on your most difficult days. To get your children to school on time, you need to get yourself ready and help them get ready, too. Parents also need to prepare meals and put their children to bed at night. 
• Doing household chores — Chores like shopping, cooking and cleaning are harder to do when your mental health is poor. You might not have the energy, motivation or focus for maintenance work, especially if you work outside the home.
• Providing consistent guidance — Parents need to monitor their children’s behavior and step in with support and guidance when they see fit. Symptoms like anxiety and depression can affect your ability to respond consistently and in a helpful manner.
• Managing your child’s access to the internet and social media — Monitoring what a child sees on the internet and social media is a tough job for any parent. Those with mental health conditions may not be able to ensure that their children are limiting their screen time to a healthy amount or accessing age-appropriate content.
• Managing your stress level — Parenting is a stressful endeavor in itself. Most parents experience some degree of financial pressure, time constraints, concerns for their children’s health and safety, isolation and loneliness, difficulty managing technology and social media, and cultural pressures. Adding mental health symptoms to the mix can make it harder to manage your stress effectively.
• Balancing the demands of a job with family life — Working and managing a mental health condition both take mental labor, which is a limited resource. You may have a hard time planning ahead and navigating situations as they come up.
• Managing your finances and providing — With limited mental and emotional resources, you may find yourself having to choose between providing for your children financially and being present in their lives. The demands of parenting and caring for your mental health might conflict with your responsibilities at work and financial planning.
• Ensuring your child’s safety — Keeping children safe requires forethought, careful planning and vigilance. Besides maintaining a safe home environment, you also need to make decisions about the people they spend their time with and their activities outside the home. 
• Avoiding unhealthy coping mechanisms — It takes time, resources and some willpower to manage your emotions in healthy ways. When we’re distressed, we have an instinct to self-regulate in whatever way is easiest or most effective in the moment. Some may turn to substance use or disordered eating, which have negative consequences in the long run.
• Maintaining positive social relationships — It truly “takes a village” to raise children who are mentally and socially well. Cultivating supportive relationships and being part of a community require both skill and emotional labor. 

Not all children will feel negative effects of a parent or caregiver’s mental health condition, and children in the same family won’t always be affected in the same way. Try to spend time with each of your children one-on-one and create open lines of communication so they know it’s OK to ask questions or voice their concerns.

No parent is perfect 100% of the time, so you shouldn’t blame yourself for making mistakes. What’s important is that you show yourself compassion while taking responsibility to make things right. At the end of the day, modeling grace and self-care for your children is what will ultimately show them how to be good people. 

At Lightfully, we provide highly personalized mental health treatment for parents that include family therapy sessions. Our licensed clinicians help you build a strong support system during treatment so you’ll have allies in every part of your life who know how to help you. 

Are you a parent seeking mental health treatment? Contact us with any questions or to ask about an assessment. We can help you make a plan to achieve and maintain better mental health so you can support your family.