Your mental health depends partly on what’s happening in your life and your initial emotional reactions. Your responses to these things are another critical piece that can prolong your suffering or help you stay regulated. 

Humans are wired for self-regulation and survival, which is kind of incredible when you think about it. Our first instincts may be effective in the short term, but they aren’t always the healthiest or most sustainable way to cope. Choosing the most effective strategies that support your overall well-being is an art that may take a lifetime to master.

Few behaviors are purely bad or toxic — although they may be more or less helpful depending on the time and place in which they are used. Let’s talk through an example. 

Wearing a hoodie may be either healthy or unhealthy, depending on how it serves you personally. If it’s a matter of dealing with overstimulation or feeling comfortable, it could be a healthy behavior. 

If you’re using your hoodie to mask self-harm or feel invisible, it may not be as healthy for you. When you understand the need or purpose a behavior is serving, you can problem-solve more intentionally.

In this article, we’ll talk about five coping mechanisms that can be unhealthy and share some strategies you can try instead.

5 unhealthy coping mechanisms (and healthier alternatives)

We can never predict exactly what life has in store for us. New challenges, worries, stress, intense emotions and painful losses or disappointments are all part of the journey. Each person needs a variety of different coping skills in their tool kit to help them find grounding, connection and calm in these different situations. 

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is an approach we use at Lightfully for understanding what realities you need to accept and what things you can change. It’s also about holding two seemingly conflicting truths at the same time, like “I’m doing my best” and “I’m still not where I want to be.” 

Based on these guiding principles, we help you learn to apply different skills for mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.

If you recognize any of these behaviors, take some time to think about their positive and negative functions in your life and consider the suggested alternatives:

• Avoidance behaviors 

Avoidance of certain realities or emotions is at the root of many unhealthy coping skills. This might look like procrastination, changing the subject or numbing your feelings. 

Yes, there are times when distracting or distancing yourself from certain thoughts is productive. How do you know the difference? 

First, you can identify whether there’s an issue that needs to be dealt with or resolved. Then you can ask yourself if you have plans to work through it at an appropriate time. Finally, you can determine if the behavior itself supports your overall well-being or if the negative effects outweigh the positive. 

If you find that there is a task or an emotion you’re avoiding, you can find ways to self-soothe or make it easier on yourself. For procrastination, setting a five-minute timer and rewarding yourself with a break can be a good way to get started.

• Excessive social media use 

Social media platforms are designed to keep people scrolling and interacting. At first, it provides novelty and a dopamine rush. After a while, being inundated with current events, marketing and content crafted by “influencers” can take a toll on your mental health. By nature, consuming endless content becomes less intentional and more of a reflex or a habit. 

Instead, you might consider installing apps for reading, learning or mindfulness on your phone. Or send texts directly to your friends to say “hi” or see how their day’s going. Try to create more purposeful connections and set a time limit for scrolling each day. 

• Emotional eating 

Eating certain foods can dampen stress responses and release feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. Emotional eating is often triggered by stress. It can negatively impact your health and even develop into an eating disorder. 

When you’re feeling tempted to indulge out of stress or intense emotions, that’s a cue to slow down and acknowledge how you’re feeling. Occasional emotional eating is common. But when it becomes a frequent go-to response to stress or emotions, it may interfere with physical health or emotional regulation. In some cases, it can progress into disordered eating patterns, such as binge eating disorder (BED). 

Eating mindfully in these moments or choosing another way to cope can help you manage your emotions without compromising your health.

• Isolation 

Sometimes, keeping to yourself can seem easier or less complicated than being around other people. Especially if you have social anxiety or you’re feeling depressed. However, in the long run, isolation deprives us of the sense of connection we need to feel our best. 

Try taking baby steps to break out of your isolation like texting a friend or calling someone you love. The next step might be scheduling a low-pressure hangout session, like getting lunch or coffee.

• Substance use 

Substance use is one of the most damaging coping mechanisms. It’s so common because of how effective it can be in the beginning. 

Some substances come with a nasty hangover or comedown period. Over time, as you develop a high tolerance or an addiction, things change. 

To avoid this cycle and the health problems it can cause, spend some time learning about healthy stress management techniques. If you need help quitting, there are free resources available.

Get help transforming your coping behaviors and your life at Lightfully

These are just a few of the most common coping behaviors that spiral into unhealthy habits. Perfectionism, excessive worrying and rumination are a kind of stealth coping response to deal with uncertainty or a lack of control. Self-harm is a way that some people cope with emotional pain or intense feelings. If you’re at risk of hurting yourself or others, call or text 988, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, for immediate support.

During the first stages of healing and change, while you’re becoming aware of your behaviors, it’s important to cultivate self-compassion. Judging yourself won’t help you move forward and make healthier choices.

At Lightfully, our licensed clinicians educate clients about healthy and effective coping skills and why they work early in the treatment process. Then they spend time practicing and personalizing them so they become second nature.

Do you have questions about changing your patterns or navigating treatment? Contact us or feel free to reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. Let’s talk through your options together.