The most confident people in the world aren’t always the most talented, the most skilled or the most accomplished. In a similar way, feelings of inadequacy don’t necessarily reflect the truth about who you are. You might be surrounded by people who have high expectations and low patience. Or you might have had a few setbacks in a row that have made it hard to believe you deserve to be happy and successful. You may not be able to control these situations, but you can make an effort to change your perspective.

What do we mean by feelings of inadequacy? If you’re feeling like you’re not enough or you’re not contributing enough in your social groups, you’re experiencing feelings of inadequacy. For some people, they may be linked with conditions like anxiety or depression.

In this article, we’ll share seven tips to help you overcome poor confidence and feelings of inadequacy.

7 tips for overcoming poor confidence and feelings of inadequacy

It might help to reflect on whether your feelings of inadequacy are linked to an acceptance of defeat or failure. Even if you have more chances to improve, the story you’re telling yourself makes it hard to believe you’ll get better. While other people may not have a never-ending supply of compassion, you can make the decision to not give up on yourself. Once you’ve accepted that you’ll have more chances to do things differently, you can start trying to be the person you want to be.

Try these seven strategies to recover some confidence when you’re feeling inadequate:

1. Practice self-compassion — What have you been putting your effort into lately? What would you say to a friend in your position who’s feeling down on themselves? Try to take a step back and consider any challenges or obstacles you’ve had to navigate to get to where you are. You’ve probably come a bit further than you’re giving yourself credit for.
2. Challenge your negative thoughts — If you try to take your negative thoughts at face value, what do you notice? See if writing them down or saying them out loud changes your perspective. Are they based on something true, or are you making some unfair assumptions? What happens if you focus on your strengths?
3. Check your expectations — If your expectations for yourself are unrealistic, of course it will be easy to feel inadequate. If other people seem perfect, it’s because you’re only seeing the surface level. Deep down, everyone has flaws and insecurities. Give yourself some wiggle room.
4. Embrace beginner’s mind — What might happen if you forget what’s happened before and try to stay curious? There’s a lot of value in approaching something without judgment, as if you’ve never encountered it before. Embracing the concept of beginner’s mind can help you get out of a rut and open up to new possibilities.
5. Talk about it — While it’s not healthy to completely rely on others for reassurance, it’s worth checking in with your friends and loved ones to get their point of view. Share how you’re feeling and maybe they’ll be able to relate. You can ask for their opinion about specific situations or ask what they think your best and worst qualities are. There’s a good chance their answers will surprise you.
6. Build mastery — When you’re feeling inadequate, you might not realize how much potential you have to improve. It takes time to learn new skills and develop certain qualities. What do you think you could accomplish with enough time and the freedom to make some mistakes?
7. Make a choice — While you can’t always choose the way you feel, you can choose to have a more positive outlook or be kinder to yourself. You can choose to act as if you’re more confident or do something you’re good at to feel a bit more useful. Come up with some positive things you can say to yourself, even if they’re things you’d like to believe, and use them as mantras.
8. Find a kinder crowd — Negativity can be contagious. Are your feelings of inadequacy influenced by things you’ve heard from the people in your life? See if you have some opportunities to meet new people who are more accepting and encouraging.

Are you feeling inspired to give yourself another chance? Many things in life are temporary and cyclical, including success and failure. Our failures sometimes contain important lessons, and one of the best things you can do to change your situation is to start paying attention to what they’re teaching you. Be careful not to judge yourself too hard, though. Try to look at it as helpful information, not ammunition for self-blaming.

If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, consider talking with a therapist. A therapist can help provide some structure for your self-reflection so you don’t get bogged down in negativity. They can help you recognize your automatic thoughts and reactions and understand them a bit better so you can start choosing more positive self-talk.

Have questions about navigating mental health care? At Lightfully, we can help. Contact us and let’s talk about it.