Dating as a teen is interesting, with the experience varying widely from couple to couple. While many high school sweethearts go on to be married, it’s common for teens to only be in a relationship for a few months, or even just weeks. However, as they go through their high school years, the relationships tend to have a longer life span. For example, while the average length of relationships for 18-year-olds is one year, relationships between 16-year-olds have an average duration of six months.

No matter how long your teen is in a relationship, it’s important to think about the impact their partner can have on them and not brush it off as “young love.” If your teen is dating someone with a mental health condition, such as major depressive disorder, it can affect your child as well. 

By learning about how dating someone with depression can impact your teen, you can determine if there are things you need to do to help maintain your teen’s overall quality of life.

3 things to consider about how your teen may be affected when dating someone with depression

Mental health is a never-ending journey that’s different for everyone. Teens with mental health challenges or conditions, such as depression, can have meaningful relationships. If your teen’s partner experiences depressive episodes, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t a good fit for your child. However, there are still things that need to be considered when it comes to your teen’s well-being while in a relationship with someone who has depression.

Here are three ways your teen can be affected by dating someone with depression:

• Emotional distress — If your teen’s partner has depression, your teen may be emotionally affected as well. They may experience their own emotional distress when trying to take care of their partner, leading to mental exhaustion and overwhelming anxiety out of fear for their safety. They may feel frustrated if the person isn’t taking care of themselves. They may feel emotionally drained from continuously being a support system for someone else.
• Taking on responsibility — Being in a relationship means being partners. The people in the relationship are meant to balance each other out and take on challenges together. If your teen is dating someone with depression, they may feel like it’s their job to help their partner “get better.” They may feel like they have a responsibility to help in a way that puts their own emotions at risk. For example, if they aren’t able to physically be there for their partner during a depressive episode due to other obligations, they may feel intense guilt.
• Behavioral changes — Even though teens are trying to figure out who they are and what they like, you often know what type of behaviors you can expect from them. If your teen is dating someone with depression, their behaviors may stray from what you’re used to seeing from them. They may start to withdraw from their friends to focus all of their energy on their partner. They may start to become more closed off or less vocal about their needs because they fear they will trigger their partner’s symptoms.

How to help if your teen is being impacted by dating someone with depression 

While you want your teen to be happy, and it’s possible for them to be happy while being in a relationship with someone who has depression, it’s important to know how to step in if you see your teen being negatively affected by their partner’s mental health.

If you recognize emotional or behavioral changes in your teen that you believe stem from their relationship, here are a few things you can do:

• Talk about it — The first step to helping your teen through any challenge is to talk to them about your concerns. It’s important that you create a space free of judgment where they feel comfortable opening up to you about their feelings, even if they aren’t ready at that moment. Letting them know that you’re always there for them will make them feel like they can approach you when their challenges get to be too much.
• Help them set boundaries — Whether your teen is just starting to date or they’ve been in this relationship for a while, it’s likely that they’re still understanding what it takes to make a relationship work. You can help them learn about what they need and deserve in a relationship, including boundaries. Talk to them about boundaries they should set with their partner. They could discuss spending time independently or being asked about their emotional capacity.
• Learn about depression together — When someone in your life has a mental health condition or challenge, education can make a big difference. Work with your teen to understand the ins and outs of depression. By learning about how it can affect their partner’s behavioral, emotional and mental patterns, they can gain a new perspective on their experiences and understand their role in their partner’s mental health journey. 

Lightfully Teen can help your teen if they are experiencing mental health distress from dating someone with depression

If their partner’s depression is affecting your teen’s mental health, they may need to seek support themselves. If they are showing persistent or worsening emotional or behavioral changes, talk to them about trying therapy. A therapist can help them understand the impact their partner has had on them and what to do moving forward, such as learning coping strategies or improving communication.

If your teen requires more intensive care beyond regular therapy sessions, our Lightfully Teen three levels of care may help:

• Residential Treatment
• Partial Hospitalization Program
• Intensive Outpatient Program

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step toward helping your teen, reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of them.