As children grow into adolescents and teens, they may start to keep certain things to themselves. Some privacy is good for their development as they learn to build and maintain healthy boundaries. For parents, it can be hard to accept when your child doesn’t want to share what’s going on in their lives. Navigating new boundaries when your child starts showing new behaviors that cause you concern is especially tricky. How can you give them the guidance they need to be safe and well when you don’t know what they’re dealing with?

Maintaining a level of trust with your child is essential. They need to know they’ll be treated with respect when they come to you with a problem. That trust should also go both ways. You need to know your child will exercise good judgment and tell you about the important things. When you notice your child showing signs of stress, it’s a good time to check in and see if there’s anything they want to talk about.

This blog post lists 13 common sources of stress in teens and signs that your child may be dealing with stress.

13 common sources of stress in teens

As a teenager’s brain develops, they become more sensitive about their identity, their appearance and their social status. They’re more aware of current events and cultural ideals than they were as children. They’re also very perceptive of things like financial stress and unstable family relationships.

The following are 13 common sources of stress in teens:

• Social media — There are many ways that social media can create stress for teens. For one thing, they have access to news and media that are constantly being updated. Cyberbullying, high beauty standards and pressure to get “likes” or followers are just a few other examples. 
• School demands and frustrations — Difficult subjects, harsh teachers, final exams and extracurriculars can add to a teen’s stress.
• Negative thoughts or feelings about themselves — Bad experiences or bullying can quickly turn into negative self-talk and poor self-esteem.
• Poor body image — Changing bodies create stress for many teens, and they may start comparing themselves to others.
• Friendships — Teens care deeply about their friends, so problems with friendships can be especially distressing.
• Unsafe living environment or neighborhood — Living in a neighborhood that’s under-resourced or violent can be a significant source of stress.
• Life changes — Teens may feel stressed from changing situations like chronic illness in the family, the death of a loved one, moving or changing schools.
• Too many activities and high expectations — Often, the teens who are busiest also internalize high expectations placed on them. 
• Problems at home — A separation or divorce can create an unstable home environment as well as financial problems, abuse or substance use.
• Current events and climate change — Larger societal problems like current events and climate change cause many teens stress and anxiety.
• Traumatic events — Surviving traumas such as sexual assault, physical abuse, emotional neglect and accidents can cause ongoing stress.
• Romantic and sexual relationships — Teens are starting to have their first romantic feelings and sexual experiences, which can create stress that affects other parts of their life. 
• Stress over plans for the future — Students may feel pressure to have a plan for their next moves after high school or college or feel anxious about the unknown.

Signs of stress in teens

There are many potential reasons why your teen may not want to share the source of their stress with you. However, it’s important to let them know that you’re concerned and that they can rely on you for support. You might offer to listen and let your teen decide if they want your feedback right away or if they just want to vent. Or you can give them some options like helping them lighten up their schedule, find a safe person to talk to or find a therapist they like.

The following are signs that your teen may be feeling stressed:

• Excessive worry
• Acting angry or irritable
• Tearfulness
• Withdrawal from activities and people
• Low energy
• Changes in sleep patterns or appetite
• Headaches
• Indigestion or stomachaches
• Substance use

Most teens experience some level of stress about school, relationships, social situations and important milestones. This period of their lives is an important time to develop self-esteem and learn healthy ways to cope with stress. It’s also a good time to learn how to build supportive relationships and ask for help when needed. There will be certain things that they don’t feel comfortable sharing with you, and that’s OK. At those times, the most important thing is to make sure they have someone who’s safe to talk to. 

Your teen will need different types of people in their support system. Along with parents and family, they need friends their age, supportive adults in the community and, sometimes, licensed professionals. For teens dealing with a mild or moderate amount of stress, an outpatient therapist could be helpful. When their stress starts to impact their performance at school or their ability to function, they may need more comprehensive treatment.

At Lightfully, we take an approach to mental health that’s not strictly focused on symptom reduction. We get to know our clients as people first and help them build up core processes to support long-term mental wellness. Lightfully Teen programs help young people learn to manage their emotions, maintain supportive relationships, choose positive thoughts and control their behaviors with self-compassion. 

Do you have questions about supporting your teen through stressful times? Contact us today. Let’s talk about what you’re noticing and how you can help.