Does your teen tend to struggle with saying no? Learning to create and assert boundaries is an important part of growing up. You can use a few strategies to make this easier for your teenager. At Lightfully, we help teenagers (and adults) learn how to say no to what doesn’t benefit them and yes to what they truly want or need for their mental well-being.

For a young person, learning to assert themselves can be especially hard. They might face peer pressure or bullying if they don’t go along with what others want. Family members may not always respond positively at first. They may need to exercise social skills that they haven’t used much before, like conflict management. Your support can help.

What are boundaries?

In psychology, boundaries are the limits that someone constructs between themselves and others. A person may decide their boundaries based on what they want or need in their life, as well as what they want to keep away from them.

Boundaries don’t govern other people’s behaviors like rules or expectations might. Instead, boundaries concern what a person is willing to engage with and how they may react. They may have:

• Physical boundaries about personal space or touch
• Social boundaries about relationships with friends or family
• Material boundaries about sharing their space or possessions
• Emotional boundaries about sharing information or opening up
• Digital boundaries about how they use social media

Asserting boundaries can be difficult for your teenager at first. Some conversations may be challenging. Over time, they may learn to build and maintain boundaries more easily.

4 strategies that your teen can use to build healthy boundaries

Your teen can create strong boundaries with your help and support. Here are four strategies you can suggest to them:

• Think about their relationships as they exist now.

Your teenager might have some relationships that are already healthy, that are already how they want them to be. They may have other relationships with people who push boundaries. These people might look like a grandmother who won’t let your child say no to a hug. They might be friends who only get in touch when they need something.

• Consider how they might want relationships to change.

Whether and how these relationships change is up to your teen. Using the examples above, they might want to step back from their grandmother or learn how to say no to friends. Identifying specific changes to make may be helpful. 

• Practice communicating their boundaries.

Your teenager can create new boundaries, like choosing not to engage in unwanted touch or deciding when to say no. Now, they need to know how to assert their boundaries and hold them even if there is conflict. You can ask them what they might say when speaking up is needed. Your teen can also learn about strengthening relationships in this article.

• Maintain boundaries with your support.

As your teen begins to implement boundaries, your support can help them do this with confidence. To support them, you can respect their boundaries — including any boundaries that may affect you. You can further support them by creating a healthy family environment.

Support your teen’s mental health and relationships

Working through relationship issues and improving mental health as a teenager can be challenging. Working with a professional may be helpful, especially if your teenager has a mental health condition or symptoms of an undiagnosed condition.

Lightfully offers compassionate mental health support for teens through our Intensive Outpatient Program and Partial Hospitalization Program. For teenagers with symptoms that disrupt everyday life, working with us can provide:

• Counseling sessions with a licensed expert, drawing from multiple types of therapy
• Medication management with a psychiatrist, either prescribing new medication or overseeing current prescriptions
• Group sessions with other teenagers, providing support and advice from other teens who understand
• Family counseling sessions, helping your teenager and family work through issues as a unified team

To learn more, visit this page. You are welcome to reach out to us with any questions. Our licensed clinical therapists offer a personalized approach to treatment with whole-person-centered care and a unique, data-driven clinical model.

For your teenager, moving forward is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step, reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of your teenager’s future. Plus, we’ll be happy to answer any of your questions and offer our support to you. Our team also provides care for adults.