It’s hard to see your friends struggling with their mental health. It’s also upsetting to find out that they’ve been silent about their troubles. These conditions and the ways in which they impact our lives are still something many people are afraid to talk about. Our society has told us that these are individual problems when they are actually a part of the human condition. Shame and stigma only keep people from receiving crucial forms of support. Whatever you’re going through, there’s a good chance you know someone who has had a similar experience. 

Everyone needs a strong support system with different people who can help in different ways. Treatment plays an important and necessary role in achieving wellness. Conversations between friends and loved ones are also needed to take the shame out of mental health conditions. You can help break the stigma and normalize conversations about mental health. Get started by letting your friends know it’s OK to share these things with you.

Here are a few ideas on how you can tell your friends you’re open to talking about their mental health challenges:

• Talk about your own mental health journey — Nothing shows you’re comfortable talking about mental health more than sharing some of your own experiences. Be open about how you’re really feeling and what you’re working on in your own life. If you’ve received treatment, you can also talk about how that has helped you.
• Normalize their struggles — Many people are hesitant to talk about their mental health because they feel ashamed. When your friend is having difficulties, let them know that this doesn’t make them different or less-than and they’re not alone. If they’re down on themselves because of their symptoms, offer another perspective. 
• Normalize boundaries and self-care — When your friend takes time to care for themselves, tell them you’re proud of them. Make sure they know it’s OK to set boundaries with you, even if that means canceling or changing plans. Encourage them to do what they need to do to feel their best.
• Help them see the bright side — Your friend might need to be reminded that you value their friendship, even when they’re not feeling their best. Tell them what you admire about them often. If they have a hard time accepting it, challenge the idea that good and bad qualities can’t coexist. It is possible to be both flawed and worthy of respect and admiration.
• Ask how they’re feeling — Ask how your friend is feeling often and encourage them to be honest. When they confide in you, validate their feelings. Restate what they’ve said to you so they know you’re listening. Then acknowledge your feelings and offer support. You might say, “That sounds really hard. It makes sense that you’re feeling this way. I’m here to help.” 
• Let them know you’re there to listen — Sometimes people don’t speak up about their problems because they don’t want to be a burden to others. Give your friend some reassurance that you’re happy to hear them out no matter what they’re feeling. 

Let’s make mental health conversations a familiar and rewarding part of friendship 

Every individual has the power to make mental health conversations feel safer among their friends. Yes, even you! It takes time for cultures and societies to change their norms, but it is possible. It starts with the choices you make every day. 

When you make yourself available to support others, it’s important to make sure you’re caring for yourself as well. Opening up these conversations is a good opportunity to set expectations and keep each other accountable for self-care. Think about the boundaries you’ll need to feel your best and be there for your friends without exhausting yourself. Let your friends know where your limits are and what kinds of support you can realistically provide. Keep in mind that mental health struggles often evolve, and support needs can change over time. It’s a good idea to check in with each other from time to time.

You and your friends may need different types of support at different stages of your mental health journey. Talking with friends and seeing an outpatient therapist are just the beginning. At Lightfully, we provide higher levels of mental health treatment. We’re here to help when these solutions aren’t quite enough to help keep symptoms under control.

Do you have questions about navigating mental health care for yourself or a friend? Contact us today. Let’s talk about what’s possible.