The beginning of the school year can bring a mix of feelings for teens. Being surrounded by their peers every day can be exciting, but also bring some social anxiety or bring up difficult emotions. As a parent, you can help your teen by showing genuine interest in their social life and making it safe to confide in you. Encourage them to make connections and set specific goals, for instance, having two positive interactions every day or hanging out with a friend at least twice a month.
Many parents feel like they’re facing a dilemma of wanting to help their child make friends but not embarrass them in front of their peers. Finding a balance between support and independence is possible. You can help your teen find opportunities to make natural connections while respecting their social boundaries and personal timeline.
In this article, we’ll share seven tips on how to help your teen make new friends this school year — without pushing them too hard.
7 ways to help your teen make friends (gently)
Every teen’s social needs are different. Some may like to have a large circle of friends and acquaintances, while others would rather have just a couple of close friendships. Some may like meeting with groups or clubs, while others would rather have unstructured hang time. Some teens may have a harder time connecting with people their age. Relating to older and younger people can be a great sign of maturity. However, it is healthy for teens to have at least a couple of friends in their own age group.
Try the following tips to help your teen make new friends without pushing them too hard:
Encourage activities based on genuine interests
Feeling like they’re “in their element” can help make social interactions come more naturally for your teen and their peers with common interests. They won’t need to rely so much on small talk, and they may be able to form deeper connections, faster. Encourage your teen to get involved with activities they already enjoy rather than starting over with something new.
Create a welcoming home environment
Make it easy for your teen to hang out with their classmates outside of school by making your home comfortable and welcoming. Set up an area such as a den or a finished basement where they can have a bit of privacy and have snacks and drinks available. You might also offer to give friends a ride home.
Model healthy friendship behaviors yourself
Building strong relationships takes skill and dedication. One of the best ways your teen can learn this is by observing you. Stay in touch with your friends, make time to see them often, and share what helps you maintain those relationships.
Support their existing social connections
When life transitions happen, such as moving to a new place or a sports season coming to an end, this doesn’t mean your teen has to give up the friendships they’ve made. Encourage them to reach out to friends they’ve made through past activities and arrange a time to hang out.
Discuss social skills without lecturing
Open up conversations about social situations by asking questions about your teen’s interactions and friendships. You can introduce them to topics like boundary-setting and conflict resolution when these matters come up. When appropriate, consider offering a personal example from when you were their age
Recognize when to step back
Always taking the initiative to make plans and decisions for your teen won’t help them learn to do these things for themself. Making mistakes is part of the growth process. Allow your teen to exercise their own judgment and avoid stepping in unless you’re concerned about their well-being.
Know when professional support might help
It may take teens some time to adjust to new environments. If your child shows signs of fear, worry, or behavioral changes that get in the way of their life activities, or if their anxiety doesn’t go away for six or more months, they may benefit from seeking treatment. Talk with them about seeing an outpatient therapist or exploring more comprehensive options.
A healthy social life supports your teen’s overall mental wellness
Supporting your teen’s social development will require patience and trust. It’s not one skill or an attitude that can be mastered overnight. It’s a range of different lessons that must be learned and experiences to be had one at a time.
At Lightfully Teen, we offer personalized primary mental health care that focuses on relationship skills as one of four core life processes. The others are thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We help teens build strong support systems while working through their mental health challenges. Each program includes family therapy sessions and support groups with other teens.
Are you concerned about a teen in your life who’s having a hard time making social connections? Let’s talk about it. Contact us to ask about an assessment today. We’re here to guide you every step of the way.
