Bullying takes many forms besides teasing and physical violence, so it’s not always obvious when a teen is being bullied. The teen years are a time when we’re especially aware of our social roles and relationships. This makes it an important time for building coping skills to deal with shame, rejection and cruelty. Teens should also learn that it takes a proactive approach to manage their mental health, and building positives is just as important as coping with the negative. Activities that help with stress management, self-esteem, social skills, and connection or belonging can help make teens more resilient to bullying and other sources of stress.
In this article, we’ll share eight healthy coping strategies teens can use to handle bullying.
8 healthy coping strategies teens can use to handle bullying
What’s the difference between a healthy coping strategy and an unhealthy one? No one technique will be healthy for every single person. In general, a coping mechanism is unhealthy if the person uses it to avoid their feelings and problems so they never truly work through them. It can also be unhealthy if it has other negative consequences. Healthy coping strategies, on the other hand, make it safe for the person to engage with their emotions so they can process and manage them accordingly. It may take some trial and error to see what works best for your teen, but this process is a great way to learn about oneself.
Here are eight examples of healthy coping strategies to help your teen cope with bullying:
Practice assertive communication techniques.
Bullies are often looking to get an emotional response from their targets. If they don’t receive it, they’re likely to move on. Talk with your teen about ways to deflect, resist or shrug off the bully’s attempts to make them feel bad — for instance, laughing it off or repeating the same response multiple times, like a broken record. Come up with some different ways to respond together so your teen has some options. Have them practice their responses out loud so they’re ready next time.
Build a strong support network.
Bullies thrive on making people feel excluded. If your teen has friends who make them feel seen and accepted, the bullies will have a much harder time getting to them. Talk with your teen about their other friendships. Help them learn how to determine who they can trust and how to nourish positive relationships. They may also need help opening up to their friends and asking for support when they need it.
Use positive affirmations and reminders.
Remind your teen that the bullying isn’t their fault — it’s usually the bully’s way of responding to their own pain and trauma, as well as learned behaviors. Come up with some affirmations together or phrases they can use to remind themselves of this. For example, they might say, “I deserve to be treated with kindness. This isn’t about me.” If the bully is picking on a specific aspect of who they are or how they look, help your teen recognize how those things make them unique and find ways to celebrate them.
Develop emotional regulation skills.
Dealing with overpowering emotions in the moment is an important life skill, and it begins with becoming aware of one’s own emotions. Ask your teen how they’re feeling often and try to pinpoint specific emotional cues together. Then start identifying activities that can help your teen feel their emotions and process them safely. This might include exercise, muscle relaxation, and somatic exercises like stomping or shaking. Finally, talk about ways they might excuse themselves to leave the room and practice these strategies in the moment.
Focus on personal strengths and interests.
Engaging with their favorite activities and cultivating some joy in their life can help your teen feel more grounded and secure. Find extracurriculars or hobbies that aren’t about achieving the best performance, but rather relaxing and enjoying themselves in the present. Supporting others through volunteering can also help create these positive feelings.
Use mindfulness and grounding techniques.
Mindfulness and grounding are foundational to self-regulation. These skills will allow your teen to notice potential issues before they escalate, stay calm and recognize the choices they have. Breathing exercises are a quick way for them to feel grounded in their body, although some people respond better to mindful movement. Rainbow grounding is a simple and memorable exercise your teen can do by looking around and identifying one thing that’s red, orange, yellow, green and so on, for each color of the rainbow.
Seek help from trusted adults.
Depending on the situation, seeking help from an adult is usually recommended. Have your teen talk with their teachers, coaches or mentors about the situation. See if they can talk to the bully one-on-one without revealing that your teen made a complaint. They might also work out a plan together on how to communicate and what they’ll do to offer support in the moment.
Engage in physical activity for stress relief.
After a long day at school or an encounter with a bully, exercise can be a great way to release stress and tension. Exercising regularly keeps stress low, so your teen can feel more prepared and in control. Create a proactive plan with your teen to ensure that they’re exercising often and they know what to do when they’re feeling overwhelmed.
Lightfully Teen helps young people develop personalized coping plans for bullying and more
Bullying can be a significant source of distress in a teen’s life, affecting their schoolwork, their social life and their mental health. It should never be taken lightly, and self-care or a change of attitude doesn’t always make the problem go away. You and your teen should document the bullying as it happens and any conversations you have with teachers or staff. With some support and guidance, your teen can find effective ways to cope with their feelings and find a strong sense of self-worth.
Building healthy coping strategies helps teens develop resilience that extends far beyond the bullying situation itself. At Lightfully Teen, our licensed clinicians provide comprehensive and whole-person-focused mental health care to help teens come through their challenges feeling more secure and confident. We use an approach called Precision Care Model (PCM) that combines the most effective aspects of several evidence-based techniques to ensure that each client gets exactly the treatment they need.
Are you concerned about a teen in your life who’s dealing with a bully? We can help. Contact us or reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team today.
