There’s something that’s showing up in more and more homes, often quietly, sometimes behind closed doors, and almost always carrying a deep emotional weight: how kids feel about their bodies.
You may not realize it, but two out of every three parents say their child (ages 8 to 18) feels self-conscious about their body. That’s a huge number of young people dealing with self-doubt, insecurity and body image struggles all while trying to grow up in a world full of social pressure.
Where are a lot of these thoughts coming from?
Social media plays a big role. A staggering 46% of teens say that what they see on social media makes them worry about how they look. With endless scrolling through heavily filtered photos, expertly edited videos and perfectly curated highlight reels, teens can fall into the trap of constantly comparing themselves to unrealistic images, which can leave them feeling like they fall short of the mark.
As a parent, you don’t have to have all the answers, but you do need to notice the signs. Because what may look like typical teenage mood swings and a repeat from toddler years, changes like food pickiness may actually be early red flags that your teen is struggling with how they see themselves. Persistent or worsening body image issues can contribute to major depressive disorder or disordered eating.
8 subtle, but serious, red flags of body image in teens
The teen years are tough with hormones, school pressure and social media all swirling together. It’s no wonder body image struggles show up. And while some body concerns are normal during puberty, consistent negative thoughts about their appearance can be a big red flag. Red flags that may signal your teen is dealing with body image issues include:
The constant critic
Does your teen constantly put themselves down? Even if they say they’re just joking, comments like “I’m so ugly” or “I hate how I look” are serious signs of negative self-talk. They’re likely being influenced by the seemingly perfect bodies and faces they see on social media every day.
These unrealistic standards can fuel an inner critic that never turns off and signal body dysmorphic disorder, a condition where someone sees flaws in their appearance that others don’t see.
What you can do to help:
Open up the conversation. Try saying, “You’ve been really hard on yourself lately. I’m here if you want to talk, and I love you just as you are.”
The food-focused frenzy
If your teen is suddenly cutting out carbs, skipping meals or talking about eating clean, be alert. Social media is full of diet culture and “what I eat in a day” videos that can easily trigger unhealthy thoughts around food.
This hyper-focus can quickly shift from interest in their health to restriction and obsession, especially when paired with body insecurity. Restriction and obsession can be the first step toward disordered eating.
What you can do to help:
Keep mealtimes relaxed and nonjudgmental. You could say, “I’ve noticed you’re avoiding some foods lately. What’s going on?”
The disappearing act
Your teen may be trying to control how others see them if they start avoiding meals, skipping social events or hiding in photos. They may feel like their body isn’t “good enough,” and they may try to disappear from situations that trigger judgment or comparison.
What you can do to help:
Offer reassurance like, “You don’t have to change anything to be loved or accepted.”
The wardrobe woes
Suddenly, your teen is wearing oversize clothes, like baggy hoodies, every day, even when it’s 90 degrees outside. This could be more than just a new change in style.
When teens are uncomfortable with their bodies, they often try to hide from attention or judgment, especially if they feel like they don’t measure up to the social media “ideal.”
What you can do to help:
Avoid comments on their appearance, even in a positive way. Instead, you could say, “I love how confident you seem in that outfit.”
The fairest of them all
Has your teen started spending a lot of time checking their reflection like the Evil Queen from “Snow White” or avoiding mirrors like a vampire? Both can signal deeper body image struggles. Teens may use the mirror to compare themselves to what they see online. If they’re not happy with what they see, they may try not to look at all.
What you can do to help:
Ask them gently, “Do you ever feel pressured to look or dress a certain way?”
The social media strain
Social media, the bane of Gen Z and Gen Alpha parents everywhere, can have a big influence on your teen’s mood. Pay attention to their mood after they’re done scrolling. Are they quieter, sadder or more negative about themselves? That’s no coincidence. Many teens admit that social media affects how they feel about their looks.
What you can do to help:
Help them question what they see on social media. For example, “Do you think those images are real or edited?”
The exercise obsession
Exercise is great for mental and physical health, but not when it’s used as a punishment. If your teen is working out obsessively, especially out of guilt, it may not be about their health. It may be about trying to achieve a certain body type they’ve seen glorified on social media. What can start innocently as a way to “get more fit” can quickly spiral into overexercising, burnout and shame.
What you can do to help:
Shift the focus from appearance to joy by saying something like, “What kind of movement helps you feel strong and happy?”
- The moody roller coaster
One day your teen is fine, the next they’re spiraling over a pimple or a pair of jeans that “don’t fit right.” If your teen’s mood rises and falls based on how they look, it could point to deeper body image issues. Self-worth tied to their appearance can lead to long-term mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.
What you can do to help:
Remind your teen they’re so much more than their looks. Celebrate their creativity, humor, kindness and resilience.
Teens are growing up in a world that constantly tells them how they should look. But with your support, and a little help when needed, they can learn to see themselves through a different lens.
A kinder one. A real one. A lens that reminds them they are enough, just as they are.
If you’re concerned about your teen’s relationship with their body, reach out to Lightfully Teen today. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of your teen.
