For many teens, starting at a new school brings a mix of excitement and anxiety. As a freshman, it can be intimidating to walk the halls and sit in class with upperclassmen. Making friends, finding their way around a new school, and adjusting to new teachers and classes are all stressful in different ways.
Stress management, emotion regulation, and interpersonal skills become critical during this transition, and these are things your teen may need help with. Negative experiences may affect their mental health, but practicing resilience and emotion regulation can lessen the impact. You can support them by listening actively, validating what they’re feeling, modeling resilience skills, and practicing patience yourself.
Adjusting to a new school with other new students in their grade makes it a bit easier. When a teen transfers to a new school somewhere in the middle of the school year or during a transitional grade, it can be even more difficult. Being the only new kid at school can be particularly isolating for teens, who are already navigating complex social dynamics and identity formation.
In this article, we’ll share seven ways you can help your teen manage the stress of being the new kid at school.
7 ways to help your teen handle the stress of being the new kid
Teens are particularly aware of their peer relationships and social status because of how their brains are developing. They may be more sensitive to rejection or bullying. They’re also more oriented toward rewards, and they may have difficulty understanding and assessing risks.
The flexibility and learning capabilities of teen brains are a great asset. However, at these stages, we still rely on help and support from adults to care for our emotions and make good decisions. Understanding what makes this transition uniquely hard for teens can help you offer the right kind of support.
The following are seven ways you can help your teen manage the stress of being the new kid at school:
Validate their feelings about the transition
The most important thing to do is let your teen know you’re there to listen — and create space for them to open up. Validate what they’re feeling and avoid minimizing their concerns. Ask if they just want you to listen or if they want guidance. You can always come back and talk about things again later when the feelings aren’t as raw.
Help them research and prepare for the new environment
Help your teen learn about the school culture, the campus, and any clubs or activities they might get involved with. Check out the school’s website and social media, and see if you can schedule an in-person tour.
Encourage involvement in structured activities
Talk with your teen about clubs, sports, or volunteer opportunities they might be interested in. These offer a low-pressure environment and extracurriculars so they can get to know others who share their interests.
Maintain connections with previous friends
As important as it is to make new friends, staying connected with friends from their old school will help provide a sense of consistency for your teen. Encourage them to use technology to stay in touch and plan virtual or in-person hangout sessions when possible.
Be patient with the adjustment timeline
Keep in mind that getting used to new routines and building new relationships takes time. Each teen will adjust at their own pace. Offer consistent encouragement without rushing the process.
Model resilience and adaptability
You’ve probably made some adjustments in your own life, too. Talk about how you deal with change and show your teen healthy coping strategies. Encourage them to try out different self-care or stress management strategies and find out what works for them.
Know when to seek additional support
Learn about the signs of more serious adjustment difficulties and keep your lines of communication open. If your teen is showing symptoms of anxiety, depression, behavioral or physical changes, talk with them about seeing a licensed clinician.
What should I do if my teen isn’t adjusting well to their new school?
Adjustment difficulties are common for teens, and they usually pass after a few weeks. If your teen is showing a lot of distress, or if their feelings and behaviors don’t subside, it may be time to consider seeking treatment.
Adjustment disorder is a temporary and treatable condition, but that doesn’t make it any less difficult. It may look like depression, anxiety, or both, and your teen may behave in ways that aren’t typical for them. Ask your teen how they feel about talking to someone like a therapist about what’s happening and work together to address any concerns they have.
If your teen is having a hard time functioning, or if outpatient therapy isn’t enough to manage their symptoms, Lightfully Teen programs may be a good fit. Our licensed clinicians take a unique approach called Precision Care Model (PCM) that combines aspects of different evidence-based treatments to create a personalized treatment plan for each person.
We help teens find relief from their symptoms, and we also help them learn to care for their mental health proactively for long-term wellness. We offer three levels of mental health care for young people aged 12 to 17.
Are you exploring higher levels of mental health care for a teen who’s having trouble adjusting to a new school? The first step is an in-depth assessment. Contact us or reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team today.
