In high school, teens start exploring who they are as an individual and as a member of different social groups. Relationships with peers are very important during these stages, and teens should also learn when to listen to their intuition and think for themselves. 

Self-esteem seems to come naturally to some. Those who don’t have an abundance of it may feel stuck or frustrated and feed into these feelings with negative self-talk. It can seem like a trap with no way to pick themselves up and break out of it. There’s no magic bullet that can help your teen develop self-esteem overnight. However, there are several different practices they can try until they find out what works for them.

In this blog post, we’ll share 10 ways to help your teen build better self-esteem.

Practice these 10 strategies to build better self-esteem

For teens who are starting with very low self-esteem, baby steps are critical. It will take time, but eventually, the small wins and positive experiences will start to accumulate. There are strategies they can try on their own, like journaling and reflection, and things you can practice together, such as managing expectations. Your teen should also build supportive relationships with their peers and surround themselves with friends who encourage them to think positively.

The following are 10 strategies your teen can use to build better self-esteem:

• Aim for small wins — Starting with some easy short-term goals is the best way to get a few easy wins. What is your teen already good at? What opportunities do they have to help the people around them? Keep it small to start with and encourage them to try bigger, braver things as their self-esteem grows. 
• Set short-term and long-term goals — Setting goals will help your teen determine how to invest their time and efforts so they can achieve great things. Help them set some short-term goals that will pay off sooner and dream about bigger goals. These will take more time, but they’ll create an amazing sense of accomplishment. 
• Manage expectations — Having expectations that are too high leads to disappointment every time. Help your teen set realistic expectations for themselves and recognize when they have something to celebrate.
• Recognize strengths — Everyone has some good qualities and natural talents. It might just be a matter of experimenting. Help your teen reflect on what they’ve accomplished in the past and find more opportunities to put those skills to use.
• Ask for support — While no one should exclusively rely on others for a sense of self-esteem, friends and loved ones can usually offer an encouraging word and a new perspective. Tell your teen to ask friends and family about their best qualities and see if they get any surprising responses.
• Build mastery — This is a bit like small wins, except your teen will develop valuable skills. It’s more about their interests and sense of purpose than specific outcomes. What will they enjoy learning? How do they want to help others?
• Learn skills for assertiveness — Interactions with others can either be a source of pride or a type of defeat. Learning skills for assertiveness will help your teen stand up for themselves and communicate effectively. These skills will help them live in a way that aligns with their values.
• Journal and reflect —- Journaling can help your teen get their feelings out of their body and identify what they are so they can process them. Going back to read what they wrote later on is also a great way to recognize personal growth. 
• Practice positive affirmations — Help your teen come up with some positive affirmations to create more of the good feelings they want to have. Start with things like “I am worthy. I can do hard things. I’m kind to myself and others.” Encourage them to say their affirmations in front of a mirror while they’re getting ready in the morning. 
• Take care of their health — Feeling crummy physically or having a negative body image is detrimental to self-esteem. Help your teen learn healthy habits and take care of their physical health so they can feel good about their relationship with their body.

As a parent, you can remind your teen often that you love them for who they are and point it out when others show an admiration for them. When they’re down or discouraged, try not to force positivity on them right away. Sitting with them and acknowledging those feelings can go a long way to help them process so they can move on. Help them learn to do their best with the things they can control and celebrate their small victories. 

Teens with chronically low self-esteem may benefit from mental health treatment. If they’re doing OK in school and they aren’t showing any behavioral issues, an outpatient therapist is a good place to start. If your teen isn’t functioning well or if their grades are slipping, they may need a higher level of treatment. At Lightfully, we provide three levels of comprehensive mental health treatment for teens. 

Having a supportive home environment and opportunities to shine will help your teen find positive sources of self-esteem. If you need help supporting your teen or finding them treatment, please contact us.