Thinking, “Why do I hate myself?”: Learn why and how you can stop


Reading Time: 3 minutes

Life has its ups and downs, but our self-esteem and confidence is what allows us to take it all in stride. That’s always easier said than done. Our mental health has a huge impact on our self-image. And many people, especially teenagers, may think, “Why do I hate myself?”

These types of negative thoughts can stem from deep issues that affect our mental health. And when you’re thinking that you hate yourself, it’s important that you explore those thoughts so that you can help adjust your mindset.

Read on to learn about possible reasons why you may be thinking, “Why do I hate myself?” as well as ways that mental health professionals can help adjust these negative thoughts.

4 common factors that can lead to you thinking, “Why do I hate myself?”

While many may brush off the thought, “Why do I hate myself?” as typical teen angst, that’s not always the case. It’s important to understand the possible reasons for your negative mindset in order to help you confront your issues and adapt a more positive sense of self.

  • Mental health conditions — There are several kinds of mental health disorders that can result in you adapting a negative self-image, like major depressive disorder. The consistent feelings of hopelessness can make you feel lost and unsure of who you are. People with anxiety can also struggle in this way due to their persistent worry and trouble staying present in the moment.
  • Childhood experiences — If you experienced criticism from your family when you were young, you could feel like there is something wrong with you, or that you’re a burden to others. You could develop a defense mechanism like shyness and self-sabotage as you get older out of fear that you’re bothering those around you.
  • Bullying — Words hurt at any age, but especially as a teenager. If your peers throw around insults or mean nicknames or make fun of your appearance, you can start to believe those negative thoughts and opinions. It’s especially damaging to your mental health if there’s physical bullying, as you may believe it’s punishment for being who you are.
  • Unrealistic expectations — As you start to figure out what you want to do in life, you will likely set goals that help you get there. For instance, you may want to get into an Ivy League school, which requires a high GPA and SAT/ACT scores as well as impressive extracurriculars. If you don’t succeed in the ways you hoped, you could feel like you aren’t smart enough or talented enough to reach the high expectations you set for yourself.

5 ways that mental health professionals can help you deal with negative thoughts

You may feel that there’s no way to change when you think so little of yourself to the point that you ask, “Why do I hate myself?” But that’s why booking an appointment with a professional should be your next step. A mental health professional can analyze your negative thoughts from every angle and teach you how to adjust your mindset.

A mental health professional can help your negative thoughts by:

  • Identifying the triggers — It’s not always easy to determine the root of low self-esteem. A mental health professional can help uncover the cause of your negative thoughts and the triggers you may be experiencing in your day-to-day life that’s affecting your confidence.
  • Teaching self-compassion — We can all be very hard on ourselves from time to time. By speaking with a professional, you will learn to acknowledge the positive aspects of yourself, love who you are and have self-compassion.
  • Treating your mental health — If you’re showing consistent signs of mental health issues like depression and borderline personality disorder, therapy and medication are the best ways to reduce the symptoms and improve your mental health. By treating your conditions, they can help alleviate the negative thoughts in your head.
  • Confronting trauma — Any type of trauma can make you question everything about yourself due to guilt. If you have experienced trauma, you may think it’s your fault, which can cause you to think less of yourself. A mental health professional will help you confront the trauma and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
  • Validating your feelings — Sometimes, we just need to be heard. Your parents can tell you that you’re great and that you shouldn’t hate yourself. But a mental health professional will give you the space you need to vent your feelings to a person with no stakes in your life.

Lightfully Behavioral Health can help when you say that you hate yourself

It can be difficult to have negative thoughts and self-doubts with questions like “Why do I hate myself?” But there are ways for you to adjust your negative mindset and improve your self-esteem. That’s where we come in.

Change is possible. When you’re ready to take the first step toward a positive mindset, reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team. We’ll take the next steps together, toward the fullest, brightest version of yourself.

Connect with Admissions