Most people who have borderline personality disorder (BPD) will start showing symptoms by the time they reach young adulthood. These often include intense emotions, mood swings, and an unstable sense of self that leads to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. In moments when they are triggered, they may start to think in extremes or see things in black and white. 

This is called “splitting.” Splitting usually impacts the way a person perceives themselves and others. They may idealize themselves or others, imagining that they’re more perfect or wonderful than they really are. Or they’ll devalue themselves or others, believing that they’re no good. 

There’s some controversy over diagnosing people with BPD, especially before they turn 18. Some clinicians believe that personality is not fully formed until young adulthood and that some of the symptoms of BPD are typical characteristics of adolescence. Additionally, it is believed that a diagnosis of BPD at a young age can be pathologizing. There’s also a stigma that can keep some people from seeking treatment. In many cases, when young people receive treatment for the symptoms associated with BPD, they’re able to achieve lifelong mental wellness. 

When teens and their loved ones are familiar with their unique triggers, they can work on strategies to regulate their emotions. They can recognize cues that tell them a split is coming and create a plan to calm themselves down and avoid irrational behavior.

In this blog post, we’ll discuss common triggers for teens who have borderline personality disorder and treatment approaches that may help.

What are the most common triggers for teens who have borderline personality disorder?

While there is often a genetic component to BPD, it’s important to recognize the role of abuse and stress early in life. Most people who develop this condition had some sort of adverse experience growing up, and they didn’t have the support at the time to deal with the emotional impact. They may become triggered when they feel a sense of abandonment, rejection or conflict. Abrupt changes and invalidation can also be triggering for teens with BPD.

Here’s a list of common triggers for teens who have borderline personality disorder:

• Perceived abandonment or rejection
• Criticism or feeling unloved
• Interpersonal conflicts
• Changes in routine or environment
• Emotional invalidation
• Identity-related challenges
• Breakups

What’s the impact of BPD triggers on a teen’s daily life?

When a teen’s BPD is triggered, they’ll have intense feelings — they may be flooded with love, desire and bliss, or they may feel angry, betrayed and upset. These episodes can come on very suddenly. The person may have a hard time controlling what they say and do. When BPD is left untreated, it can lead to negative consequences in their relationships and virtually every part of their life. In some cases, it can lead to suicidal thoughts and self-harm.

Untreated borderline personality disorder may impact a teen’s life in the following ways:

• Intense emotions that are hard to control
• Unstable, chaotic relationships
• Inconsistent or poor performance in school
• Poor self-image or sense of identity 
• Difficulty regulating emotions
• Impulsive behavior or poor decision-making
• Difficulty maintaining a job or career
• Suicidality and self-harm

How can teens learn to recognize and manage their triggers?

Teens who have BPD can learn to recognize their triggers by reflecting on times when they’ve had intense feelings or felt out of control in the past. Talking or journaling about these instances can help them understand what they were feeling and why. They may also start to recognize patterns and cues that lead up to a split. It may be helpful to talk with friends and family members about what they notice. 

These reflections can reveal some insights about the types of self-care or interpersonal skills that will be most helpful when a teen is feeling triggered. They might come up with mantras to help them feel grounded and in control. Deep breathing and self-soothing techniques may also be helpful. They might practice saying, “I’m feeling triggered right now” and identify some phrases they can use to ask for space or support.

BPD requires personalized treatment from a licensed clinician. A therapist can help a young person with the process of identifying triggers and healthy ways to respond. Creating a crisis plan for mental health emergencies is another critical part of treatment for BPD. A therapist can also help teens work on more proactive goals, such as improving their self-image and developing strong support systems. Mental health professionals should be able to coordinate with families, schools and other care providers so everyone can provide appropriate support.

Explore treatment options for BPD in Lightfully Teen programs

Most symptoms of borderline personality disorder are a response to traumatic or overwhelming experiences in the past. When viewed from a place of compassion, teens and their families can start to repair the underlying feelings of betrayal, abandonment or rejection. They can learn how to anticipate their symptoms and respond in ways that promote safety and support.

At Lightfully, our licensed clinicians have experience helping teens approach their most difficult feelings and memories in a way that promotes trust and healing. Each teen’s care team chooses evidence-based treatments and tailors their treatment plan based on an in-depth assessment. Each program includes family therapy sessions so you and your loved ones can get involved and support your teen throughout their treatment. 

Are you caring for a teen who has borderline personality disorder? Contact us or reach out to our Admissions Concierge Team to schedule an assessment. Let’s talk about what’s happening and how we can help.