Teens often want more independence as they grow. It’s also common for teens to help out around the house. However, when a teen’s responsibilities start to resemble those of a parent, it can become a concern, leading to anxiety and other mental health challenges. This is where the term “parentification” comes in.

Parentification is when a child or teen takes on roles and responsibilities usually meant for a parent. While it might look like early maturity on the outside, it can lead to lasting emotional strain underneath. If you’re a parent, understanding what parentification looks like and how it can impact your teen’s well-being is a key step in making sure your teen feels supported and not overburdened.

What is parentification?

Parentification happens when a child or teen is regularly expected to act like a caregiver. It often starts in families where a parent is unable to fully meet the family’s needs due to mental health challenges, chronic illness, substance use or even overwhelming stress.

There are two main types of parentification:

• Emotional parentification — When a child becomes a parent’s primary source of emotional support. They may listen to adult problems, give advice or be expected to manage a parent’s moods.
• Instrumental parentification — When a child or teen takes on adult responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, paying bills or caring for younger siblings.

A teen might experience one or both types of parentification. When a teen is parentified, they may look like they’ve got everything together. Inside, though, they’re likely carrying far more than they should.

Parentification can have a lot of negative effects on a teen’s mental health. A review of scholarly literature on parentification found that many children perceived their obligatory adult roles negatively, as unfair and “robbing” them of their childhood. They experienced stress, role overload and resentment. While some teens who are parentified experience positive outcomes such as better coping skills, many experience negative outcomes such as persistent mental and emotional distress. It can also lead to difficulties with interpersonal relationships, increased risk of mood disorders and caregiver burnout later in life

How does parentification show up in teens?

While your teen might not explicitly say they’re feeling overwhelmed, parentification can show up in other ways. Here are some signs to look out for in your teen:

• They seem too mature for their age — If your teen seems more like a miniature adult than a teen, it might be more than just typical developing maturity. Parentified teens often act serious or overly responsible. They may avoid fun or relaxation, feeling guilty if they’re not being productive or helpful.
• They take on too much responsibility — Is your teen constantly taking care of younger siblings? Do they manage most household chores and step in during every family conflict? If your teen is filling roles that a parent typically would, it might be a sign of parentification.
• They show signs of depression or anxiety — Carrying adult responsibilities too early can take a toll on mental health. Emotional overload caused by parentification can contribute to mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. Parentification can increase the risk of emotional overload, which may contribute to symptoms of anxiety, depression, or — in some cases — harmful coping mechanisms like self-harm. Because of their heightened sense of responsibility, your teen may try to mask mental health symptoms. They may have a hard time telling you they self-harm or opening up about other mental health challenges. If you’re concerned about your teen’s mental health, let them know they can talk to you without judgment. You can also encourage them to get any professional help they might need.
• They struggle with boundaries — Parentified teens often have trouble setting boundaries. They may feel obligated to fix other people’s problems, even at the expense of their own well-being. This can lead to anxiety, burnout and emotional exhaustion.

Get help preventing and navigating parentification with Lightfully Teen

Lightfully Teen is committed to offering evidence-based, whole-person-centered mental health care to teens. Our Precision Care Model is designed to provide personalized treatment that targets the drivers behind mental health disorders and symptoms. We offer multiple levels of care at several California locations. Your teen can get specialized treatment in an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) or Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) at our Carlsbad location, for example.

If your child is showing signs of emotional overload, now is the time to reach out. Let your teen be a teen. Let Lightfully Teen offer the support your family needs.

Change is possible. If you think your teen might benefit from a mental health assessment, contact us. We can explore the effects of parentification and discuss treatment options together. Our goal is to work toward the fullest, brightest version of your teen.